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OK, so here's the deal with my boyfriend...in a quick lil summary
1) He's brilliant...seriously, 5's on all the AP mathematics tests (5 is the highest)
2) He's athletic...he did wrestling, football, AND baseball in high school....even got offered scholarships for it
3) He's got tons of friends (*grumbles silently about all the girls*) No, I'm not jealous I've just had a high rate of takin-my-man syndrome (I've been on both sides of that, no I didn't "take" anyone's "man")
4) He's bloody gorgeous in my opinion (I like 'em bigger ^_^)
5) He's madly in love with me even though I'm a nut
So, what's the problem right?
Well...
You see...
I'm not what...his friends or family...would necessarily pick for him :/ (I's a tree-hugging, moon dancing, wants-to-get-more-piercings-and-a-tattoo, multiracial, ex-Catholic wiccan priestess-in-training who loves working with autistic children and has shorter hair than he does 'cause it's just awful when it's long)
...I may apparently be brighter than most of the girls he knows, who are almost all 3 years older than me...
...yea, I guess I'm kinda pretty...
...and yes, I do in fact extremely love working with autistic children (it's one of the few things I live for anymore)...
but, I fail socially.
Let's just put it this way...I had an episode of "OMG look at the loser chick waiting for Mr. Popular for the dance" relatively early....which is why I don't go to school dances.
Instead I sit at home and stuff my face with whatever I can get a hold of and cry... I don't pretty myself up anymore, I have no self-value...not because I haven't tried to repair my self-esteem, but because 13 years of contiguous abuse by people who told me they thought I was "beautiful" killed the concept of it for me.
And parties? PSH, yea right. I hate them when I actually know people.
Which is bad, because he's in a frat....in fact, he's the treasurer of it :/
I don't think I'll ever actually get to know anyone if I move in with him...-sigh- I'll be his introverted nerdy girlfriend who hides in the bedroom everytime someone comes over.
but anything's better than here.
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Posted by lovela_storm on 2008-10-14 14:47:50 | Rating: | Views: 18
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Fortunately for my brain, my idea of blowing off steam is kick boxing, writing poetry, and reading a good book...
could explain why I'm 17 and conducting a major research project at the local university on autism
Just another reason why I'll never fit in his life :/
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Posted by lovela_storm
on 2008-10-15 10:53:24
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