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~MY ILLUSION~

I thought I had gotten better,
but i guess i just got worse,
i thought no more pain was left,
i guess that was a curse,
depression is still ahold of me,
i hope it will soon let go,
im tired of the pain i feel,
i wish my feelings were known,
the first time i talked about,
hating my life as a whole,
it was in 5th grade,
and it was eating at my soul,
the first time i cut my wrist,
i was only thirteen,
feeling hate over power me,
yet now im only fifteen,
i cut again last night,
deeper than before,
hiding in my room,
crying behind my door,
the blood dripping down my arm,
the scars that are being made,
all the people that hurt me,
they will finally paid,
when im dead and gone,
will they cry and feel sad,
or will they walk away,
with the hate they have always had

Posted by loveduhmm on 2008-08-14 21:58:12 | Rating:

| Views: 51

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		your poems are beautiful. again i can relate...i know what its like to give someone your heart and have them stab it. my family never understood either they always turned their back. just know that u r not alone.
Posted by xmidnightxwingsx on 2008-08-15 00:09:53


		you are very talented in your poems. i can relate as well. people will never fully understand depression because they have never suffered from it. only the people who are depressed can relate. my family still have their backs turned, and the only friends i have are on this website, because all the rest have turned their backs as well. i am here if you ever need to talk.
Posted by xscarstellstoriesx on 2008-08-16 11:28:03


		Look behind depression’s mask, see anger turned within. Who has pissed you off so much? Who refused your tender touch? Who failed to make you feel worthwhile? Whatever you did – they refused to smile? Before you cut yourself again Please ask… who really caused this pain? You choose to follow the example they set You have a choice to change that yet. Self harm is addictive. I have met far too many people who, hundreds of scars later, wish that they had never started to use this addictive way of coping with feelings, or the lack of feeling. It may work in the short term, but it doesn’t solve the issues you are trying to escape. Get some help. Hate and rage are driven by fear. Successfully navigating yourself through life requires that you grab it by the bollocks, feel the fear and push through it. It also requires that YOU take the responsibility to become your best friend, and learn to stick up for yourself now you are an adult, you weren’t able to do this as a child, but you can now. Learn to do it and you will start to feel a whole lot better about yourself. There is no easy way to work through the labyrinth of self hate and transform it to self acceptance. However, it can be done and it’s your choice whether you continue to live a half life forever waiting for death to release you, or to start to overcome your difficulties and live life to the full. Your choice. Bon courage.
Posted by diogenesdaughter on 2008-08-17 07:18:17