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I feel different now than I used to. I used to be very loving. I used to be very trusting. I used to want to be in a relationship. Now, after the last 2 years, I don't feel that way anymore. Maybe its my age. I turned 25 not too long ago. Suddenly, the things that most people are working so hard for in life seem so unappealing to me. I really don't think I want kids. At the same time people are talking about children all the time. All my friends from highschool have had children or are married or are in long term relationships. I enjoy my alone time. I really really enjoy it. I just dumped someone for it. I felt very trapped in my last relationship. I was with a great guy, who did all the right things, but damn it I just could do it. I just couldn't be in a serious relationship knowing that what I want has nothing to do with what he wanted in life. It just makes no sense to be in a relationship if its not going in your direction. This is what I try to explain to people relationships should enhance your life, make it even better than it already is. It shouldn't complete your life or fill in a gap. It should solve problems. I compare it to shopping. If I knew I was in debt it would be common sense to not go out and buy a brand new car. It wouldnt work out. I'd lose the car no matter how much I liked it. Same thing with relationships. If you don't have the happiness saved up within yourself, the confidence, the balance, then a relationship will just make your life harder. So I am flying solo. Yet, people act like that is selfish and there is something wrong with me for wanting to be alone. Am I crazy for wanting to stay single. I mean think about how much I am helping the world. I struggle with anxiety and depression. Why would I want to share that with someone. Why would I want to put another person through that. Why would I want to have kids and put them through that. I will not. |
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Posted by lovecrasher on 2008-01-22 19:55:24 | Rating: | Views: 54
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I was happy when I was single. I am now married and frustrated. Don't feel guilty about being happy.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-01-23 01:25:54
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You are young and have plenty of time to be serious. I wish everyone could be as honest as you especially my x. I don't think its selfish I think its selfless. Be happy!
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Posted by fjr14
on 2008-01-23 17:11:43
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