Occasionally my thoughts take a considerable dive. A series of events take place and I find myself slipping inward. I function enough to carry on my daily affairs but only with a considerable amount of willpower. It is very difficult to experience and decends upon me very rapidly. I start to think a lot. Too much. Thoughts flow like a current in a storm. It exhausts me. It incapacitates me. I get home from work and sit. I don't function like I should. I feel like my usual neat and orderly and habitual self becomes immobile. I am not a lazy person but I become one. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself without even being aware of it. Which leaves me at a point of detachment from my goals. I tried to explain this to my exboyfriend who declared nothing is wrong with me. That I just need to get it together. To pull myself out of it. Just another check on the list of reasons I broke up with him. As much as I would like to pull myself out of these periods of mental stagnation, obviously if I could I would. Its something I have little control over when it begins. I just have to wait it out, I try to built up my stamina by reading and sleeping. I do easy things first, and I try to focus on positive things when I can. If I can't think about positive things I try to not think at all. I am wondering if I have seasonal depression. It been increasingly cloudy here and cold, and since the temps. have dropped Ive been so sluggish. I tend to do a lot better mentally when it is warm and sunny. I swear that light energizes me. I love to sit outside and close my eyes and hold my face towards the sun just to see the reds, oranges, and yellows on my closed eyelids. Its so nice. I think I am going to go to a tanning bed. I don't believe in getting tans, but I think the light will help me. Anyway, its worth a shot. Ill see if it helps .