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okay. So being a teenager in this generation is not that easy. All the media showing up what we should do, and what we shouldnt do..and using soaking up every single word of it. Sex, Drugs, Drinking, Partying. All of it. We just all want people to like us. So we figure if we can get "fucked up" this early then we're so much cooler. Being illegal is just soo cool now a days. I'm not saying...lets all praise god and be merry and never do anything bad, because im not that kind of person. I'm not against people who praise god and want to bring people closer to him because i have many friends trying to do that with me now. I just have my issues with believing in him now. This is not the point though, i just dont understand why kids think it is so amazingly awesome to do illegal things. Yes i realize this is not just my generation, but i feel as with this genereation we all get worse. i may be wrong...but this is just my preception of it. anyway.
I have to admit ive had my own expierences so im not being a hypocrit cause yes i do admit...i wanted to be cool. but no... i will never understand why.
Also. i need some help from the ladies. Have you ever loved a man so much, that no matter what he does to you, how much he hurts you [emotinally or physically], that when he says he changing, and that he loves you and you're the only one for him...you believe him? Why do we do this to ourselves? why can't we just walk away from him? ill explain my story to you....
I met a boy named Chris a while back. Around Early March in 2006. Well we started hanging out and we became the best of friends for a long time. Well he was sort of still seeing his ex girlfriend the whole time...but we still got closer and closer and closer. Well in June i considered him my best friend, and i was supposed to go off to a summer program and i wasnt going to come back...i was going to stay in maryland and not come back to florida. Well i left and it was sad. While i was gone...i called him and he answered....but hung up on me. i guess he was with that ex. So i never called him for the rest of the summer. When i got back to florida...i was told that i could stay there. So i got to. i never left. well for about another month i didnt talk to him until he saw me at the mall with my best friend jess since i just happend to walk into a job i never knew he had. PacSun. Well he came up to me and asked me what i was doing back and stuff...and then we started hanging out again. Well that was september. in november. We had sex for the first time. Well after that he stopped talking to me for a little while cause it turns out his ex was now his GIRLFRIEND. Well she found out me and him kissed and stuff and she told him he had to stop talking to me. His supposed best friend. I was totally inlove with him by this point. Well you know what...he did it. He stopped talking to me. So i decided i needed to move on. Well the day after my birthday...december 4....he left me a belated voice mail and he apologized it. well i called him back and said thanks. and that was about it. until about late december when i sent him something on facebook saying that this was retarted and if he really wanted to be my friend then he wouldnt let some girlfriend stop that. By this time he was working as a pizza delivery guy. Well i asked him to come by one night after he dropped off a pizza. and he did...and we hugged and stuff and said our sorrys, and then he kissed me on the forhead and went back to work. After a while of hanging out and talking again we became the best of friends. we kissed on ocassions but nothing more than that. Well December 24th came around and he had to go to his grandma's house so he could pick up stuff that they wanted to keep. well he called me later that night and was talking to me about he barley knew her and how he wished that he could have gotten to know her better. well i walked to his house to make sure he was okay. That night we slept together again. Well in January they broke up and me and him starting gettin closer and closer. Febuary 14th was the next day we had sex. we drove around all night talking and laughing. Days went by and turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. well april 12th came around and chris finally told her that he was done and didnt want to be with her. i was sitting there when he did. Then in late april me and her finally decided to meet. We put everything out there and found out he lied to both of us for a year. a whole year. So we went out and we found him. She bitched and bitched and then we left and promised we wouldnt lie to eachother anymore about it. Well thats exactly what we did. We let him fuck with our heads more. and he kept sleeping with both of us, and hooking up with both of us. Finally we went over there and saw i the hickey...so i just fucking left. she called me and told me to come back, and thats when he told us. he said he loved her...but that he was inlove with him. So i believed him. Finally on May 7, 2007...i told him he needed to make a decision. that i had waited for him long enough...and i wanted him to be mine. all mine. So he said yes. So thats the day we started going out. Well on may 27, 2007 i was out with my 2 best friends Denise and Ilysa. We went to a bass [cars] competition. Well i called him...and she was there. He told me that he was making things right between them and apologizing and that they were just hanging out...so i just blew it all off. i went over there too and accused them of stuff. and they denied it all. So i gave up. I figured they didnt do anything and that she wouldnt do that to me. AND HIM. hahaa. Well we almost broke up that night...but we didnt. Well on June 5th i finally got him to confess they kissed. And i vomitted. I was pregnant...and i wanted to tell him but i couldnt then. Nope...not then. He told me it was a peck...she told me they made out. so i knew there was more. The next day i went out to lunch with stephen, and ilysa and chris came cause it was his break. thats when i got him to tell me that they slept together. then i found out she was at the mall...and picked up the knife and tried to walk out. I was soo angry. when he got off work i broke up with him. then he told me how much he loved me and needed me and stuff so later in the week we got back together. i didnt know what to think anymore. i was so confused. i would get so angry and break up with him and then come back to him. i was so hurt by it. Well june 15 came around and i had to leave for the summer program again. we broke up and got back together while i was gone. then while i was at the summer program he told me all about he couldnt stand her and all this shit...and then it turns out, they went out to lunch together and they peck kissed. but thats it. So i broke up with him. When i got home he was at the airport waiting for me. And we got back together july 22. Well when i was online one night i logged onto his myspace while he was out with his friend mat. When i was on there i read an unread message from this girl Jess. [i thought it might be sam on a 'fake' name.] Well when i read it...it was very strange to me. Saying:
"i knew when she came back everything would be diffrent and im always the lean on girl and guys always do this. i only wanna see you happy." and blah blah blah. so my legs started to shake and my heart started beating faster. I showed my sister it and she said to call him. So i did. this was the conversation we had on the phone:
chris: hey babe.
me: what did you do while i was at camp?
chris: what are you talking about?
me: whos jess?
chris: a friend.
me: what did you do with her?
chris: nothing.
me: you know i hate when you lie to me. now would u like me to read this message from her to you. or would u like to tell me the truth?
chris: i dont know.
me: What did you do with her?
chris: stuff
me: like?
chris: sex.
*click*
I hung up on him. When he got home i drove to his house...handed him all his shit told him to fuck off and walked away. then i went home and messaged her saying i was sorry he put her though that and that he did the same thing to me. Well me and her became very good friends. Well then, yes me and chris did get back together. Not right after but it took some time. time went on and me and him kept breaking up and gettin back together. Well one day i broke up with him, and went to dancing in the streets and kissed 4 people because i found out he had left town. without even a phone call. Well actually because he saw Maddy and told her he got a new phone and didnt even call me on it. Well anyway...then i kissed people. the next day he wasnt home and he wasnt with mat [he told his mom he was with mat.] so i searched town for him. Well finally i sent him an email from my phone to him. I got a phone call right after saying that it was un called for. He told me he was in tampa with his friend alex. Well i sent samantha a message asking if she got to hang out with him at all. She said she had no idea he was here until after he left back to jensen. When he got home i talked to him and i wanted him back and he told me that he wanted a break. Finally about 2 weeks later we got back together. the next day he told me that he slept with sam while he was there, and that he slept with her when she came to visit down here. I felt soo sick. Anyway...well she came down to visit one weekend while chris was supposed to hang out with me in the morning. when i called his house his mom said he was out. So i called his cell and he was with her. and he told me he'd call me when he got home. So i went to the bowling alley to talk to some friends who were in a tournament there. Everything was going to hell. Later that day chris broke up with me. So i ended up hooking up with tyler, and trying to make everything work.
When i got home i was so devistated. And then my dad hit me. Cause i told my mom i didnt wanna talk about it. So finally i fought back to him. And then ran out of the house. the first person i could think to call was chris...so i did, and he came and got me off the side of the road. After crying and everything. Well i hung out with him for a while, then i went to kristinas party and got completley drunk to forget all the pain. Then he picked me up at about 12am and i slept at his house. Well that night we had sex. The next day i was on a plane with my mom and headed to her apartment to live.
Im currently living there now, and me and chris are working on this long distance relationship. Well a couple days ago i found out that him and sam did some stuff right before we broke up.
yup. Thats my story of how i keep going back to chris. i know it was long and boring. But can someone explain to me how to walk away from him???? HELP ME!
I never thought I could love anyone but myself.
Now I know I can't love anyone but you.
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.
Maybe I won't die alone.
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Posted by lotsinmymind on 2007-10-13 22:49:44 | Rating: | Views: 118
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Hey LOSTINMYMIND,
Been there done that and please listen to what I am going to say.
I'm an older guy and there are some things about us guys you have got to know.
Men have two heads on their bodies and we don't use either one worth a damn.If I am with you I am thinking about you, but when I'm with her I will be thinking about her.
Man has become so far intilectually but our bodies still function on the most basic level.
If you just look at animals and their sexual habits then you'll be able to understand men.
There are two basic things men are really concerned with; nourishment and sex.(not nessecarily in that order)
This is the absolute trueth, it's not a joke and we just don't give much thought to the consequences of our actions.
In the wild the males in most of the species males take on as many females into his harrem as possible, but in the wild no one's heart gets broken.
With you and me, the human factor comes into play, and now us guys have got a problem about how to deal with the woman's emotion, so we lie as best we can so that we can keep getting what we want.
Now if we get caught in that lie, we will tell you another lie so that we don't loose the thing that we want. (sex)
If you catch us with the other woman we will tell you a bigger lie or deny what we are doing with her. We will make up the most unbelievable story and expect you to believe it, no-matter how outrageous it might be. Then if you drop us like you should, we will come back begging your forgivness, crying, soobbing, pleading for you to take us back. Making every promise you want to hear. We will tell you how we will never stray again and that we will be 100% faithfull to only you.
Once you fall for that we will be good for a while, but as soon as someone else catches our eye, we will follow that other head and chase the next skirt we see.
It's partly because we are still reacting on our basic animalistic level, wanting to have our herd of females, but mostly it's because we are just inmature and we have not learned to control our physical desires.
Occasionaly there are a few guys that are smart enough and mature enough to not act in this way, but most of us have not yet evolved that far.
So my advice is to dump this guy fast, and stay away from him except to have him served with the child support papers. Be prepared to raise this child by yourself or with the help of your parents.
Talk to your family and friends about what you are going to do, (if you are deciding whether or not to take your pregnantcy to full term), but most of all please learn that sex is not love it's just sex, and if your going to have to have sex again, then you must be smart enough yourself to; 1. use a condem 2. use birth control or 3. keep your legs together until after you get married.
This is just flat out the way we guys are, and if your not prepared to understand that then are going to end up getting pregnant again and again and again.
Let me know if you want to talk about this or anything else.
I'm sorry this has happened to you and I know your going to cry a lot about this, but this isn;'t the end of the world.
You may have to start thinking a little harder about letting your heart override your head, because you know your smarter than this. Remeber your only a dummy if you keep making the same mistakes over again.
Good Luck,
jwcj
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Posted by jwcj
on 2007-10-14 05:37:05
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It might be a good idea to simply drop dating in general for a while - make a conscious effort. Don't date any new guys, don't date this guy, don't hook up with anyone, kiss anyone, etc. Just give yourself some time to sort things out in your head. While the initial break will be really hard (you've seen that - you break up with him, then you want to get with him again...) you can do it. Actually, it's necessary you do it. And you can.
Finally, don't be idle while this is going on, and you're trying to sort things out - get all your homework done, get good grades, join a sport or some clubs.
Hope it all works out!
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Posted by gwe
on 2007-10-17 17:17:24
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OHHHHH MAMA... NO... THE TEENAGE PART, GIRL PLEASE, WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE DONT THAT AND I DIDNT FIND GOD TILL LAST YEAR, IM 27 TODAY... AND THAT BOY, WHAT????????? NOW THAT I READ THIS, OOH WEE... ITS TIME TO MOVE ON AND I AM SOOOO GLAD YOU DID... ITS COOL FOR THEM TO BE PLAYERS... SO WITHOUT GIVING IT AWAY, YOU NEED TO JOIN THE BOYS TEAM, PLAY THE FIELD, FORGET LOVE, DO YOU AND DATE, TAKE IS SLOW... BOYS ARE DUMB UNTIL THEY ECOME MEN AND EVEN THEN ITS HARD TO FIND A GOOD MAN!!!!!!! BELIEVE ME!!!!!!! MUAH MAMA, TAKE CARE! GOD BLESS~ T
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Posted by thernandez
on 2007-10-17 18:46:16
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