So i woke up today after barely sleeping becuase i couldn't stop thinking about how much life sucks. You know no matter what i do in life everyone who knows me will allways see the loser drug addict. So tell me what is the point in trying. i can't find work with my record, even though it isn't that bad and i have no vehicle. iI have finally realized that there is no hope for me. I believe everyone would be better off if i was dead. i have a previous suicide attempt and i almost died. i couldn't do that to my mother again but she doesnt deserve to be stuck with a loser son. She has put up with so much crap and it's not fair to her. I know she loves me and she cares so much and im so tired of hurting her that i want to die, but i know that if i did something like that it would destroy her even more which is exactly what i don't want. So once again i'm damned if i do and damned if i dont. well i guess i'll just keep hoping and praying that i can dig my way out of this whole before it gets to deep.