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An old "friend".

During the weekend an old friend text me. He is this guy in my past who did me wrong. He wanted to hang out and I thought, "I need some distraction so that I don't get tempted to call or text "X" so why not?" We went out. We went to a local bar and talked and caught up. Last time I talked to him, let's call him "Irish boy", he was always saying "I'm going to go back to school" but never did. I helped him apply to a bunch of colleges, and he actually got accepted to the college I'm going at! I never actually thought he'd do it, because he's more of a talk-and-no-action kind of guy. He just told me he is currently in night school to upgrade some courses so that he will get accepted in the program he applied to this January. I was flabbergasted! He actually followed my advice and is now doing something about his future. That's one of the things I didn't like about him. To me, it seemed like he was going nowhere in life and is quite content with just partying, sleeping around, and never having the ambition to become someone successful.

What did he do to me in the past? The story starts when we met through a mutual friend and hit it off from the start. All the while, I thought he was sweet, funny, and there was a possibility of a relationship. He always complained that he never meets a girl who treated him right. He claimed all the girls he met cheated on him, played him, used him for money or whatever. So while we were dating, he told me "If we got together, I think this will be a good relationship for me." I started to like him a lot, and I thought it was going somewhere too. A couple of months into it, we went to a mutual friend's cottage for a weekend. There, he hardly spoke to me, or hung out with me, I ended up hanging out with people I hardly knew for the whole weekend! Even still, I had fun, so when we came back, I told a mutual friend (who wasn't there) how much fun I had. Then she dropped the bomb. She told me that "Irish boy" was at the cottage all week, not just the weekend he was there with me! He was there earlier in the week with another chick! A chick I knew and truly dispised! I felt like a fool. All the people that went to the cottage KNEW she was there, and then I came along with him, and no one said a word to me. I felt like an idiot! All the while I thought he was there with me, because he was interested and stuff, but really, he was trying to decide between me and another girl! I confronted him, and he had no explanation. In the end he never got with her, or me, and me and the girl actually became friends!

Anyway, the worse was yet to come. After he didn't get with neither one of us, he decided to date ANOTHER girl. A real bitch! I found this out from friends which totally hurt because he knew how I felt about him, and all he could say to our friends was, "Well, she (he's talking about me) never told me her true feelings, so I moved on." What a lie! He told me that the reason why he couldn't be with me was because he wasn't ready for a relationship! Then he turns around and starts a relationship with this other girl! WTF?! I was angry. I dropped his ass and I thought, "What goes around, comes around. He's going to get what he deserves."

So he did. Then at a birthday party recently, he was there and he apologized to me for everything that he had done in the past. I was over it. I told him, "People make mistakes. We're only human." And that was that.

Now, he's coming around again. After the bar, I took him home and we chilled in the car talking. Of course, being a little intoxicated, we made out. I told him, "I can't do this. I don't want what happened in the past, to happen again." He said, "Well then I guess you're going to have to put a tighter leash on me then!" I mean, what does that mean? I asked him about what happened to the girl, he said, "Let's just say, bad karma."

I don't believe him. Yet, he has this spell on me. I talked to a mutual friend about it and she said, "Don't believe anything "Irish boy" tells you. He says he's ready for a relationship now, but honestly, I don't think he is. He's still talking to ALL the girls in the past." I believe her. But it's so hard to resist. Why do I care? He fucked up and he had his chance and lost it. He told me that for the first time in his life, he met a girl (me) who's got a good head on her shoulders, who knows what she wants, who's mature and totally gets him. A complete opposite of the usual girls that has crossed his path. How can I believe that now? I don't want to get hurt again. I'm still trying to recover from "X" and now this? I thought I could use a little distraction, but honestly, if it's going to lead to another heartbreak, what's the point?

I'm so confused.

I want a distraction so that I'm not thinking about "X". But I don't trust "Irish boy" to be seeing only me. I know I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but I get so angry just thinking about "Irish boy" doing what he did to me in the past all over again. I know I'm over it, but I'd be stupid to fall for it again! At the same time, I like the attention he's giving to me, and since I'm feeling lonely right now, "Irish boy" could be a good distraction. AUGH! I'm completely torn and confused. I just want to get away from all the drama, yet drama is attracted to me somehow.

When will my life become "normal" again?