| lostandalone's Blog Entries |
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Germs in a Teapot
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Following from yesterdays post. I just thought I would give an example of how my girls keep me going. Its an odd one I admit but it made laugh so much that the thought of missing moments like this makes me determined to be around for a long time to come
My youngest daughter asked me...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-04-03 16:42:36
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Views: 42 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
joy
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Feeling Bloody Awful!
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My treatment is making me tired, nauseous, moody and generally not nice.
I know its a must in if I'm going to beat this thing but really the treatment is worse than the illness.
Thank God for my girls they keep me going... they give me the strength to fight.
There are times I...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-04-02 18:55:00
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Views: 31 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
low
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Been Away
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Have been away for a while been in and out of hospital, but am now well on the road to recovery. Dont really have much more to say apart from while my life may not be as I would like I have now found a new direction, my spell in hospital left me plenty of time to think, and while I...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-03-23 21:24:57
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Views: 35 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
return
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Tears
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When I lay awake and think each night
The happiness we had is nowhere in sight
A pain inside I cannot describe
Staring at the space by my side
I close my eyes to stem the tears that roll
Sobbing uncontrollably your pillow I hold
Laying alone on the bed again
Wishing to be free of...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-27 14:16:51
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Views: 72 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
loneliness
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Can't
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I cant seem to stay focused on anything during the day my mind keeps drifting, dwelling on problems that I have been having.
I try so had hard to thing of the good things yet they dont seem to console me all i can see right now is negative. its as if I have lost all my resolve my...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-23 17:19:47
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Views: 54 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
feeling down
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All gone bad
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Haven't been online for a while, I have not been in a good frame of mind. I let things get things get the better of me, let life bring me down.
I sit here with so much to get off my chest yet just cant seem to get out. I have made so many mistakes in my life I find it hard...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-17 18:42:29
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Views: 52 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
mistakes
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Relief
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I have a terrible couple of days, have had a lot of things to sort out now that life has started again after the christmas break. I have managed to ensure that we can stay in the house after the seperation and that has helped me to feel a bit more positive (although it looked dodgy for a...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-09 13:13:26
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Views: 48 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
relief
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Crap day Explicit Content
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had a really bad day. Have run aruound like an idiot and seem to have got nowhere!! On top of the my XXXXX of a husband has been taking advantage of my vulnerability and I have been too stupid to see it.
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-04 18:52:49
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Views: 44 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
crap
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Prayers for a Friend
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Spent most of today with a good friend of mine who is going through some troubled times. She has been with her fella for around 2yrs and he just is not good for her. They do not live together and never have, after 2 abusive marriages she will not live with anyone again.
The problem...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-03 18:52:38
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Views: 50 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
prayers
friend
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A strange but better day
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Well after the day I had yesterday I was reluctant to venture out of bed this morning, but the girls wouldnt let me hide away. I know what happened yesterday was kinda funny yet when I thought about it I just wanted to cry. To be honest I have cried at least once a day for past few weeks....
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-02 19:31:30
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Views: 37 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
improving
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New Year- Same XXXXX different date Explicit Content
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What a crap day!!!
Ever had a day where everything you touch turns to dust......... that is exactly how my day has been. It started with the shower going wrong this morning, covere
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2008-01-01 15:35:26
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# Comments: 9 | Tags:
crap
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Crap!!!!!!!!!!!! Explicit Content
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I am not looking forward to tonight, my first new years without my husband at my side. I really didnt think that it would affect me in the way that it has. Over the last couple of days I have felt strong and positi
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-31 15:10:32
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Views: 43 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
crap
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Just unscrambling my thoughts
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I am so glad that we are getting on so well, but it confuses the hell out of me. Why cant we work this well together.
I guess that through my illness I have been a pain to live with, and despite what I may have said in some of my darker moments I do not blame him for going my god how...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-30 19:57:05
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Views: 39 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
thoughts
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Strange Day
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Yesterday was an odd day. J came to collect the girls as arranged as they left with him it felt very strange. I was happy that the girls were getting to spend some time with their dad, but at the same time it was a gut wrenching feeling that it has to be this way.
For me the...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-30 11:00:22
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Views: 79 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
hope
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Update
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I may have been hasty with my earlier post. He has made contact with the girls and has made arrangements to take them out over the weekend. We even had a bit of a chat and I explained how they were feeling. he hadnt realised. he said he didnt want to unsettle them by making contact randomly....
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-28 18:52:33
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Views: 45 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
better
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Bloody Fuming
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Today I have gone from missing him to being angry at him. I thought he was going to take the two youngest girls for a couple of hours tomorrow but he has made no attempt to contact me to make arrangements. They have asked if they are seeing him tomorrow and I have tried to answer truthfully...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-28 14:42:29
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Views: 56 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
Anger
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no more
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this has been the worst and hardest day of my life. my first full day without my husband. I have never felt so low, so alone, my tears have been for me and my children. I have tried to be brave and strong for them yet they have seen my weakness my tears have not stoppped. I cannot do this I...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-27 17:21:43
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Views: 50 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
lost
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To my girls
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This morning broke my heart seeing my girls saying good morning to their dad by text message. what kind of way is that for children to live. he should be here with them holding them in his arms. For them this must be worse than it is for me as they have played no part or had no say in the...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-27 09:23:38
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Views: 48 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
..pain
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Thank you all
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I have to say I am amazed at the support shown to me by others who use this site. To all of you who have shown that you care I send my most heartfelt thanks. I cannot begin to say how much this means, from you and my girls I know I will find the strength to climb out of the darkness
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-26 19:40:02
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Views: 41 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
thanks
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heartbroken
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He left today. Feel as if my heart has been torn out, have to be strong for the girls but that seem like an impossible task. Think I will sleep on the sofa tonight cant bare the thought of being in that bed without him. Part of me wishes I could hate him so that this would be easier. the thought...
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Posted by:
lostandalone on 2007-12-26 16:40:10
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Views: 51 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
alone
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