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So i started writing on here to get some things of my chest. If difficult to do in person and i thought maybe i could help myself. This is only my throd blog and im really struggling.
I just can't find the words. I want to talk to you all about the love, fear, stress, worries, friendships and adventurs in my life but i dont even know where to begin.
How can someone feel so many different things at once.
Today for example, i woke up and it felt like my heart had been ripped out. My boyfriend left at the weekend. He is in the army and i'm not going to see him for 3 months. I know this is not a very long time but i miss him so much. For the sake of cliche he outs the light in my life. One of the few people who know how to make me smile when i am at my lowest. This devestaing love that has brought so much excitment and joy into my life, but at the same time has taught my true heart ache and fear. I fear for his life everyday.
At the same time, when i woke i was excited bacause i knew we were starting a new project at university and i am a self confessed workaholic, so i knew i had something new and exciting to stick my teeth into.
Then the is my Mum. I live away at university and do not see her often. A few years ago she wasn't well and was in and out of hospital. I know she still has bad days and feel so guilty that i am not there for her. I try to ring her as often as i can but sometimes i am extreamly busy.
These are just a few examples of things i need to talk about. I really do feel lost in the world, because my emotions are all over the place.
I have always said, that if i can ake one person smile everyday foe the rest of my life then my life is worth living. But for one day i wish someone would make me smile. I have a reputation for being the peace keeper in my group of friends, the grounded one who is friendly ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I just wish there was someone i could talk to who would listen and understand.
Is this too much to ask? |
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Posted by lost_in_here on 2008-01-22 07:57:31 | Rating: | Views: 53
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hi lost!
i think you are doing just fine in terms of blogging! i guess it's useful to try not to do too many things at once - then you'll be able to find the words and work over the idea! good luck and have fun!
:o)
cheers!
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2008-01-22 10:57:15
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I never used to be a good,compassionate listener.....until the last few very hard years. I am learned alot about the value of listening and not trying to "fix" people. Sometimes people just need to hear "I'm sorry things are so sucky right now". I am always available to listen if you want. :-) You really aren't alone.
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Posted by bobkat
on 2008-01-23 08:12:51
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