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| Another day in my pathetic life.
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So here I am my new place to share my thoughts, my feelings, and my pain... A few friends of mine have blogs here and I decided I would give it a try...
Today kinda sucked well actually I realized something, I'm becoming basically emotionally dead. It's not numb, quite different from numb. It's not just apathetic either. It's more than apathy. It's deeper. It's infinitely more messed up. I care. I just can't feel anything. I slipped yet again, it's happening pretty often now I can't help it, the pain - it's taking over. This depression crap has got to stop! I got desperate today, actually came online looking for a counselor. I found this one site where it has pics of several counselors and their rates which varies from 1.25 a minute up to like 2 dollars a minute. If I could afford that I would be seeing D. I wish I was able to talk to her, she's someone I can or well think I can trust. I don't know what to do. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 22nd. But can I make it that long? What am I going to do?
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Posted by losingcontrol on 2007-10-08 19:18:55 | Rating: | Views: 105
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| Blog Comments
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I feel your pain somedays I wake up and think to myself, is it worth living?
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Posted by Dani
on 2007-10-08 19:52:24
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Life is worth living Dani,and you too.25 years old is when life begins But only what you want it too become pain ] the lost of a child lost of a mom an dad lost of your very best friend lost of your soul, That is pain Not trying to grow up an not know how life is what you put in to it.
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Posted by shellyme
on 2007-10-09 09:43:49
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Thanks for ur comment Dani and shellyme - shellyme, you have no idea what we have lost! Myself, I lost my dad to congestive heart failure in March of 2005 and a very good friend in a car accident in July of 2005. U know what I a having nothing to explain to you... Later
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Posted by losingcontrol
on 2007-10-09 12:14:29
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Dear loosingcontol,
Believe it or not, a step up from depression and numbness, is anger. No one knows what you have been through and the pain you have endeared. We have not walked in your shoes. The only suggestion I can give is get mad. Get mad that you lost your friend and your dad. Get mad at how you are feeling. It might not be positive but at least anger is some feeling. You don't have to be 40 to realize what life is. Once you can become angry, then you can move to something higher than that and eventually you will start feeling better. Trust me, it works.
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Posted by whatisthetruth
on 2007-10-09 19:30:47
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