I was finally able to obtain the temporary restraining order. My court hearing is in May. Wish me luck and pray for me. If I am not awarded a restraining order against this guy, he will probably hurt me more AFTER the failure of obtaining the restraining order, then he did BEFORE I even complained to the police.

God...this is beyond scary. I haven't eaten properly in two days now. I can't eat...it's nerve-wrecking knowing that I may have provoked him. I'm afraid he's going to flip out and hurt me. If only I stayed quiet, I would have ensured my safety I guess. Haven't been able to sleep properly either. My friend has been sleeping over, and for that, I have some comfort...but still !!

Turns out that this guy is a registered sex offender. You can only imagine how much more comfortable I felt after finding that out. Not only was a I afraid before...but NOW, I'm simply petrified. I have already started thinking of things to write to my family the day I go to court. If I am not awarded the restraining order...there's no telling what could happen. The guy is two/three times my size, taller than me, and quite honestly...he just scares me. He scared me before I found out about the sex offense thing .. but now...I just want to cry. I want May to come soon, I want to be able to get a good night's sleep knowing he's away...or just pack up and leave the state. I can't live in fear for the rest of my life. I can't allow it. I won't allow it.

I'm so tired, nervous, scared. =(     Why? Why would such a thing happen? What have I done? Yes, I guess it's my fault for not standing up for myself earlier in the semester...but I was scared!!! I still am...but knowing that I finally have the support of my parents, helps. It's my fault that I continued to speak to the guy in fear that if I don't he would hurt me in one way or another. I hate this. I hate fear! If I had only left work that day, if I had only refused to go out with him a few times. If only...


Pray for me. Pray for my well-being. =(