Tried getting a restraining order against this one guy, so I went to the police yesterday. They told me that my chances of being awarded a restraining order were quite low because I didn't compile police reports. It sucks. I spoke to the guy, and I told him not to call, text, contact me or show up at my house at any time of the day, especially at 1, 2 and 3 am. He started crying teling me that he really liked me and that I should give him another try.

I couldn't call the police on that situation, because he was harmless. But it's just annoying, and that's why I was hoping I could get the restraining order. Now, I have nothing. I told him that I told the cops, I think that somewhat scared him away. One problem though. It appears that after I was able to scare him...I've been getting calls from a "private number" and when I answer, all I hear is sexual noises and my name being whispered. It's disgusting. It really makes me uncomfortable. But if I can't prove it's the guy...it's pointless to take this to the police. I hate this.

Everyone found out what I've done, and for some odd reason, they're standing with him...as if it's my fault that he's been showing up at my place early in the morning, late at night, unannounced, or that he calls me about a hundred times a day, texts me like there is no tomorrow and tells the world that we are dating, when we're not! I don't care if they take his side. It just sucks because now everyone thinks I'm a liar.

My "best friend" tells me that he told her that he never showed up early in the morning, and that he shows up at 10 or 11pm! He also tells her that I used to send him text messages saying stuff like, "I love you, I want to be with you" !! IS HE SERIOUS? Well, my friend says that she believes me...but her actions speak otherwise.

I haven't heard from any of my "friends" since yesterday. When I call, they don't pick up, they don't call back, they haven't responded to the text messages. It's horrible. I feel like I'm being a liar here...I'm starting to doubt my own stories. I mean, the police isn't helping me, my friends are standing with him, my parents think I'm just trying to find a way of getting out of one of my class groups (which he happens to be in)...its horrible.

I haven't told anyone about the 'sexual phone calls'. I figure, why bother? No one is going to believe me any way. Whatever. It's just that I didn't think that my last few months at school would end up like this. I hate this. I do! I hate him! I hate everyone right now!

I've given up trying to do anything about the issue. If he wants to come late at night and knock on my doors and windows...let him be. If he wants to brush his hands against my thighs in class and call it an "accident" let him. I've given up. I'm not even going to try anymore. Whatever.

Maybe I exagerrated it...maybe him trying to force himself on me can be justified by him being intoxicated, perhaps him knocking at my doors and windows can be justified by saying he's just really worried about me, when he touches me...he's probably just making sure I'm okay, when he grabs me firmly because I "don't listen" to him, he's just trying to teach me patience. NOWWWWWWWW that makes a whole lot more sense. I guess I am the b**** everyone is saying I am.

I want to cry so bad right now. I really do. Reminder to self: never, NEVER, say anything anymore...just let it be.