JOHN ,well here goes i am sitting here wishing i could be with you. i really miss you so much i want so bad to feel you in my arms i just want to hold you .it is now 5:26 pm i really hope you come online so i can talk to you i really miss youi want to feel you lips on mine which i haven't felt yet i also want to feel your lips on my tits it felt so good .i feel like you and i will never hook up it is hurting so bad inside i feel like my heart is going  to jump out of my chest it is hurting that bad. j just miss seeing you so bad i feel like there is a bad karma on us that we can't be together i want you so bad if i can't ever have you when my kids are grown i am leaving state it is just hurting to tell you the truth i really love you so much i haven't felt this way since i met my husband 22 years  ago my husband and i all we do is fight thats why i am leaving state when my kids are grown  as i really not in love with him anymore i am staying just for the kids sake thats all when they ouyt of school i am laving state as i can't have you as you are with your wife so i hope she is happy i am not i am really hurting so bad right now well i am closing this i really hope you read this so you will know how i feel one more thing i was upset when you didn't come out to the park today i had something special for you so you didn't get it you would have really liked it so much i hope i can talk to you today so bye please talk to me soon