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| I Hit The Self Destruct Button.
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I haven't been writing for a while. I've been preoccupied. Between the trying to get better and trying to give up, I came to a middle ground. A vast, unstable, island contain me, a pack of cigarettes and a bottle full of alcohol.
On one hand, I go to school, I do my work, I pay attention. On the other hand, I fall apart, get wasted, bum cigarettes off of people and slowly but surely destroy myself. I don't see the point anymore, I don't see why I should keep trying. I've been broken, beaten and stepped on and I'm tired of being put back together with cheap tape and fishing line.
People these days sicken me, and I sicken myself more because I'm just like everyone else. So I'm going to visit my friend rum, and maybe we'll get together with some fruity, sugary drink and maybe I'll drown my sorrows away, or drown in my sorrows. And I'll wake up aching all over and be too numb to do anything but be a good little girl and do well in school. Welcome to my new cycle.
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perhaps, you should consider another plan, I dont think this one is the best one for you. hang in there, you will not always feel this bad, but...you need to feel, searching for numbness is not the answer...be brave, feel what you need to feel and then move on...I once wrote, If I feel anything at all, I dont feel hungry...that works with
if I feel sad, I cry, and if I feel happy, I laugh...do what you have to do and feel whatever it is that you are avoiding...you go girl, I will cheer you on, but you have to be present...you cant check out, or you will never FEEL BETTER.
AND BELIEVE ME, i KNOW, iTS MUCH EASIER TO GIVE ADVICE, THAN IT IS TO TAKE IT
BE STRONG, IF TAPE IS WORKING, TRY SUPER GLUE!
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Posted by roe
on 2008-05-13 23:02:20
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IF TAPE IS NOT WORKING, TRY SUPERGLUE...THAT LINE WAS IN REFERENCE TO YOURS ABOUT TAPE AND FISHING LINE...
WE DONT HAVE AN EDIT BUTTON HERE, BUT YOU CAN EDIT YOUR LIFE, YOU CAN GO BACK AND FIX SOME MISTAKES...AND THEN MOVE ON, ITS OK. iT DOESN NOT MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE TO DO IT, JUST DO NOT GIVE UP...
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Posted by roe
on 2008-05-13 23:05:29
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| Views: 70
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