I guess it's time to explain, so here I go. I said I had a crush on another guy. I thought I could handle it, but in the end I didn't. Everyone in school was like, " you should just break up with Alejandro." So on the bus ride home, I called him up and I told him honestly. He started crying right away, which just broke my heart. I then had to go, so I told him to call me later, and I cried on my friend's shoulder the rest of the way. Even if I couldn't return my feelings completely to him, it still hurt, because I nkow deep inside me that, he was my first love.
It was hell the next days because he would call me up crying, begging for me to take him back. He said the crush would pass. I knew it wouldn't and told him so. The thing that was so messed up was, just that say before he said together forever and ever? And I texted back saying, yes. That day I thought the same, it's a silly crush, I'll get over it, so I sorta meant it. But at the same time, I knew that we wouldn't last that long.
I was only single for two days. No lie. Slut, I know. I broke up with him on January 29th, by the first of febraury, I was going out with Jeremy. He asked me out while walking me to the buses. Ofcourse I was happy, I mean it was what I wanted. I literally screamed yes and attacked him with a hug. I pretty much freaked him out. Haha.
So that day I was just so happy, and about a day later Alejandro found out I was going out with Jeremy. If he hated Jeremy, he loathed him now. But, by the end of the week, he seemed to sorta be over it. He was healing, I was happy. So, on that weekend, I went to the mall. We were walking around when I look up to see him walking with his friends. I knew he would probably be there, but there's a million stores, how would he see us?
I freaked out and grabbed my best friend, Blanca, and dragged her into Charlotte Russe. We ran right about a foot away from him. I could see how miserable he was, just by looking at his face. He didn't see us, but it was like panic got to me. I got really light headed and couldn't breathe right. I grew weak, so we just walked around slowly. When we went all the way to the otherside of the mall, I still hadn't calmed down.
It was really scary seeing him, because I knew he'd ask me to take him back in front of everyone, even I couldn't handle that. Eventually his crush faded away. We grew I guess, mad at each other. We had this huge fight and then I said " Im gonna go, you're so boring" but I thought he knew I was kidding. He texted back saying, "Yea sure whatever." For some reason, that sent me of the edge. I startewd bawling. I still don't know why, but it hurt the way he just said that.
Now he has a crush on another girl. When I found out that he had done so much to conquer her, when he swore to try to conquer me, I cried that night. I guess I was used to having him care so much for me, that it hurt. I feel better now, and I know you're thinking, this chick wants every guy to be after her, but I don't.
Apart from this, I found out the two days I was single there was competition for me. I was so suprised. I mean really, who would want ME? But apperantly my guyfriend Jaymin likes me, Jeremy was gonna ask me out, and so was James. JAMES! The guy I've crushed on since 6th grade. The guy who gave me a necklace, and earrings last year. James, the guy who we were good friends, and ready to be more at times. But later on he told me this: "I was going to ask you out, but I saw how much Jeremy liked you, and I coudln't."
I guess Jeremy knows by now that Im a wanted girl. He still hasn't gotten used to it though, I can tell. He doesn't like the fact that James likes me. Everytime James hugs me hi or goodbye, he seems to "disappear". Sometimes if I say that I looked horrible at school the other day and he would try to assure me that I didn't and I would deny it, all he would say is "why don't you ask James?"
ON the 15th, there was a Valentines Day dance. Jeremy got himself grounded from it, but I still went. I was stuck with Thomas, (the guyfriend from math who I thought liked me and flirts with me A LOT) Dylan, (a creepy, horney, weirdo), Xavier (ditto), James and a few more others. I danced in front of the guys and they would dance sometimes too. Thomas wouldn't but we just played around.
When there was a slow dance, Xavier asked me to slow dance, I was surprised. But I didn't, I wouldn't dance with anyone but Jeremy. LAter on, a salsa song came on and we all stood around awkwardly. Then, James came up to me and said, " want to learn how to salsa dance?" I nodded, and he respected the boundaries. He put his hand on my shoulder and you could fit about ten people between us. He barely touched my hand when he held it and patiently taught me. When I learned the steps, I moved along with him. It was fun.
After the dance, it was raining and we were walking slowly towards the otherside of the school. James told me about asking me out and we just played around. When we were close to the drop-off area, the guys were talking about how if a "hot chick" asked them to get naked, they wouldn't care where they were, they'd do it. So I told Thomas, "If Jessica asked you, you would?" He said, " HELL YEAH!"
We laughed and when we turned the corner, I said, "Okay guys, get naked." I was with Xavier, James, Dylan and Thomas and then James starts tugging at his shirt playfully and then stops, laughing. Xavier takes his sweatshirt off and and Thomas lifts his shirt off, takes out his arm of the sleeve, then says ," Im kidding" and puts his shirt back on. Dylan on the other hand, takes his hoodie off, and then his shirt. I start screaming "DYLAN PUT YOUR SHIRT ON!" I could see his boxers too! Hahahaha.
We kept joking around and then we stopped right in front of my parents truck. I hug Xavier, James and Thomas bye. I looked at Dylan and just go, "Im not hugging you while you're shirtless..." and walk away. Also during the dance, I got dry raped by him and Xavier. It was really creepy. We were doing the Cha Cha Slide and when it came time to "Cha Cha" he was air humping me and I didn't notice until I turned around.
Thomas gives the greatest hugs. He pulls you close and holds your waist tightly. He's so warm. That's one thing that Thomas does perfectly. Every girl agrees, it's just a great hug. Sorry, I just had to put that in there.
Next topic, Jeremy and his horneiness. Wow. One day when he hugged me after lunch, he grabbed my butt instead of my waist. When he let go of me, I guess I was so surprised that I started choking. He had already left though. It caught me by surprise.
I'll round it up there for now.
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