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| Crazy thoughts |
i was talking with my friend the other day, and i was like, i really cant focus on anything anymore. when i go to pray, i only focus at the very end. my mind's always elsewhere, and i cant stop it. when i try to focus on something for more than five minutes, my mind starts to wander or i get backpain from stress. she was like, just quit thinking so much.
easier said than done. i told my mom, but she said there's nothing wrong with me. you are perfectly fine. wow. some support.
thats why i listen to music so much. so i can shut my mind off for just a little while. and it has to be loud fast music, otherwise it doesnt work. its just some peace for at least a while. i dont know what this is.i have had it since i was little, but i never paid much attention to myself until i started getting treated for depression. thats when i started to think more about my behavior.
but constantly having things on my mind? i dont think that is depression. my mind feels like its about to explode with thoughts. i cant stop thinking. not once. i cant ever get peace. not unless i blast my ears with loud music. im constantly having random things flit through my mind, totally random stuff, like that picture i saw on the web the other day, or what my mom said this morning. i hate it. i once tried to do meditation, but i couldnt. my mind is running and running and i cant keep up with it. im just being dragged behind it. also, when i try to focus on an image in my head, i cant. it keeps changing. i dont know if this is anything serious, but its just what has been on my mind lately.
after i started taking that prozac, it just got worse. i literally COULD NOT focus, AT ALL in my lit class. my mind was waaaaay up in the clouds. i told my counseler, and she said thats an unusual effect. it got better, but im still always out of it.
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Posted by leiya_790 on 2009-10-20 21:22:01 | Rating: | Views: 17
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