Do you remember that friend at school? The one who you were always following around picking up the pieces of their lives whenever they had a breakdown? Do you remember thinking that in a few years time everything would be different and that friend would learn to fend for themselves and decide to grow up? Well I'll let you in on a little secret, it never happens.

I always recall my Nana telling me that "a leopard never changes it spots" but at twelve years old I chose not to listen to her and put this remark down to her being old and withered. She was right though, I wish I'd have been smart enough to take note of her advice. Today I spoke to a friend on the phone, I used to go to school with him about three years ago. We were as close as friends could be, but he was always letting me down. Now I love him to bits and I realise that I wouldn't trade him for the world, but it has taken me eight years to realise that he isn't going to change. I met him in the first year of secondary school, he was always a bit of a rebel and I was quite the book worm so the teacher's saw it as a good idea to sit him next to me. I guess they were hoping my bookish qualities would rub off on him. In fact it had the complete opposite effect, from then on we were as thick as theives.

Wherever Tom went trouble was never far behind. Around every corner there was another way to drive a teacher mad or to act out against his parents, like most teenagers do. On many occasions he took it to the extemes and got himself kicked out of lessons and transferred to other classes. But he was my best friend and I stuck by him no matter what. Whoever bad mouthed him or ridiculed him got a lashing from my tongue, I would defend whatever he did giving whatever excuse I could think of for his behavior. This continued until he found a real interest in the opposite sex. I saw countless girls come and go, I was there through the times when a girlfriend cheated, lied or just dumped him. However, at the end of our years in secondary school he appeared to have found the "one" (well as close the the "one" as you get at that age) and I was discarded like rubbish. She had made him choose between her and myself.

After school we went our separate ways to different colleges and we lost contact for about a year a half. I would call him from time to time to see how he was doing and just to check if he was still alive really. My calls where never returned and whenever we arranged a meeting something would always come up and he would take a "rain check". So I just stopped trying and that was it.

About a year ago he called me and we met up in town and had a coffee. He was in bad shape, the teenage rebel had turned into a grown up drug addict. I sat there and looked into his hollowed eyes, i noticed how his skin was dimpled and had a slightly yellow tinge to it. The boy did not look well and once again I was there to pick up the pieces. I invited him to my house warming party and he promised he would be in touch but I should have realised Tom's promises were like pie crusts, made to be broken. On the day of the house warming I called him and asked what time he would be getting to mine and again something else came up. I was furious, for years I had been running around after him trying to help him get his life back on tracking. I offered him a shoulder to cry on, a ear to bend and advice to use. But the only thing he had ever used was me!

I stopped talking to him. I didn't answer his calls or reply to his e-mails and eventually he stopped trying. His brother informed me that he has moved to London to go to university and I jsut wrote him off. He was a chapter in my life that had finally closed, or so I thought.

Around six months passed and I started talking to an old school friend. We met up and had a couple of drinks and started chatting about school life. We saw each other frequently and he invited me to a party. It was in fact Tom's Dad's 50th Birthday bash. I mulled over the prospect of having to talk to Tom when I was still so mad at him, but I was gently persuaded to go. When we arrived the party was already in full swing and Tom (and a few other school mates) were quite drunk. I tried to avoid him and I engaged in conversation with other people but I felt two arms snake round my waist and I turned around to see Tom hugging me.

We exchanged numbers once again but neither of us really made the effort to strike up a text conversation or to ring the other and talk. That was until I accompanied another close friend on a day trip to London. I called Tom and we met up for a couple of pints, he hadn't changed at all he was still raving about his drug use and how his habits had evolved into using stronger drugs. After leaving London we remained in contact when suddenly I got a call from him saying how he's been kicked out of his halls of residence for "no apparent reason" and he was homeless. I was in panic for him, I called him near enough everyday checking in on him. He phoned me at ridiculously early times in the morning just to talk. I had reassumed the position as the obidient friend, the one he could talk to whenever and about whatever. It was like I was back in school again.

He stopped calling and I had to ring his mum to ask how he was and she gladly informed me the halls had taken him back in and all was well. It was nice of him to let me know right? And then Tom called me and informed me he was coming home for a few days and he would really like to meet up and see me. I rang him for three days straight to see where he was and he never answered. Today I finally got through and he cheerfully told me he was back in London but was coming home next week and would really like to meet up and blah blah blah....

I was thinking about this on the way home today and it made me realise something. While he is in London he has admitted he has made no real friends, just acquaintances. And if he needs to talk to me because he is on the come down from a drug fuelled high or he needs to hear a friendly voice then so be it. I'll be there for him no matter whar because I love him dearly and thats what friend's are for.

Some things never change and I'm glad they don't!