the last two weeks have been a little harder than i realize sometimes.

I got sick, i had some family emergencies, i moved, and my band situation has yet to be resolved. 

the past 3 days i've done nothing but slowly move into seans room, eat, lay around, watch movies, listen to music, and slowly motivate myself to get back into my routine and drive without pushing my health too much. 

Last night Sean had a date-with a girl! Around soho editions, there is this spa and hair  salon around the corner from us, sean had a haircut over there the other day and i stopped around to get his keys and we started talking to the girls that work there. He met a nice girl and the next week she came over to soho and asked sean to hang out. So because i didn't have the car i stayed in.

i watched brick, had a couple of beers and mickey d's. talked to dave zingis on the phone. Ate some sunflower seeds. Watched hot shots part deux. Went on the computer. They are still downstairs i think-still "hanging out" the date started at 7:00 it's now 1:30. Thats a good date. A very good date. Now where is mine?

My best friend Chase called me. It was great to hear from him. "dude i really miss you man. I need you dude. When are you going to come back?" I've heard that several times from my batch of friends at umass. But coming from him really meant a lot-it also hurt a lot too. I miss my friends too sometimes. So much. I didn't want to leave my friends behind when i made this decision with my life but i had too. I basically stayed at umass because my friends were the most incredible people i ever met in my entire life. I tell people all the time how much i hate umass but its still amazing how out of 30,000 (approximate) people that i found the best ones. If it wasn't for my friends i don't think i'd be okay-not to be over dramatic but they saved my life-and i owe them everything. 

My whole life i always felt like i was moving-either to the wrong place or the right place. To home, to school, to camp, to my moms house, to my dads house, to new jersey , to massachusetts, to here to there, to nowhere. Every time i was somewhere else i was missing someone or meeting someone new or not being around anyone when i should've been with my friends. I got better at making new friends quickly-but it got hard to keep up with old ones. Honestly it hurt too much for me to deal with it. So i didn't. I just put it away and left it alone until it crept on me and exploded in my life.

 So many people i've known ,know , and met have had the greatest impact on my life-the majority of which will never know how, why or at all. I made the decision to become an open person and welcome all that wish into my life but that doesn't mean i want others pushed out to make room for them. 

music, the drums, and leaving london are my life. Those things are what i chose to do. Leaving was easy for me because i focused on the negative things and looked forward to the positive things. I always knew my friends from umass would always be in my life-because i do have that power. But being away from them is tougher than i thought. Now i'm starting to feel the pain that probably marty and mike felt immediately when they left with me and sean to do this. 

So i started to call the rest of my friends and check in with them. I didn't reach everybody but i managed to at least leave a voicemail for those i missed. I talked to my friend shari and after telling her everything that has been going on and what i've been through she said "Honey no matter what i am so proud of you. I just hope you are happy doing this and i know you'll succeed if you try." It really meant a lot to me and after that i felt better.

Today me and sean went to new york to play with our managers band. It is technically a solo project so its called "steven soll" So we jammed at funkadelic studios for 2 1/2 hours and then hit up Steven's house and partied and called some bass players-and our situation for new members is looking very good. 

I woke up this morning feeling better. I wasn't really sick, i did my push ups, and my new sit ups. I took a shower i woke up sean and he told me all about his date. She sounds cool-He's going to be okay. I have a lot of things i need to take care of -so i'm a bit overwhelmed. But i got to knock things off one at a time-get organized and get it done. I feel inspired-i feel renewed. I'm going to start practicing again and i made a vow this summer. I will not waste one minute not practicing when i am able to. So next time you see leaving london...we're going to blow you away. Both ways-just ask us after the show if you want some. Cause you can have some.

Keep it real kidz,
Mikey Scofield.