-- List 10 things you've wanted to say to people but never could.


-- Don't say who they're to....they'll probably know.

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1) I'm so unbelievably sorry that I lashed out at you two years in a row. You didn't deserve it. You weren't the problem....I was.

2) I wish you were there to be a good role model for me. I could have gone without a lot of problems in High School if you had shown me what was right from wrong.

3) There aren't enough words to tell you how happy you make me feel. I have had the worst luck in my life and I never thought it would turn out all right for me until you came along. You are my prince. You rescued me from falling again. I've never seen this side of life before and it's all because of you. I love you more than you'll ever know.

4) I wish there was a way I could go back and fix all our battles in middle school. I put you through an unbearable state of mind and I don't know how you could still be here for me to this day. Thank you.

5) You made me feel so worthless and so hopeless in High School. I dreaded waking up every morning because of you. I didn't have the guts to stand up to you then but now I do. What you did still carries on with me today. Because of your actions my family can't look at me the same way they used to. It still haunts me everytime someone accidentally brings it up. You messed with me. You messed with my family. I'm not afraid to see you again because if I do, be f uckin prepared.

6) You have been through so much and I know, so much, is an understatement. I've been though it all with you and you must forgive yourself at some point. There's hope out there and you've got to stop beating yourself up over all the s hit that's happened. That's why he's here. He is here for you. You deserve him and a lot more.

7) You have changed me in more ways than one. All for the better. But can I just say how unbearable you are sometimes? Not everything is on your schedule, your time. You are not the center of my attention 24/7. And please, quit being so damn dramatic. Don't involve yourself in everyone else's business. I know you care, but stop making everyone's problems your own. Grow up!

8) I miss you baby girl. I miss you so much. Nobody understands. You were here for me through the worst times in my life and I lived for you. You were the only thing I looked forward to each day. I know you're hangin out with the boys right now so please give them a kiss for me. I miss your sweet little face. I love you baby.

9) I regret never getting to spend enough time with you. You have always been so understanding and in some way, through your silence, I know how much you care for me. You made the biggest effort I've ever seen. I appriciate it so much! But I can't go to your funeral, not yet. I want you to be at my wedding but I know that's impossible. I hope your visit here wasn't too much for you to handle. I feel guilty. I know you're not doing well but please, I'm begging you to keep fighting. Fight this. Do it for Grandma. We're all so worried about you. I miss you enough as it is. I've never told you how much I love you.

10) Forgiveness is how we get through life. We can't move on without forgiving ourselves, friends and even people we barely know. I'm trying my hardest to understand why you did what you did. I'm almost to the point where I can honestly say that I forgive you.

11) You are my admiration, my mentor. I was only a stupid freshman but you saw something in me and you never gave up. I was able to have a special connection with you. I miss our coffee chats and I'm so terribly sorry that I haven't kept in touch. Seeing you at graduation was so comforting. You made life so much easier freshman year. Watching you go was heartbreaking but you are more than just a teacher to me. I look up to you. I'm going to college now and all I can think about is how much I wish you were my History teacher.

12) You've been through the toughest times in my life, right there with me. I know you're just meant to help with the school stuff but you helped me in more ways than you know. You never once doubted me. I felt so honored to recieve that award that you presented. It meant so much to know how proud you were of me. I grew so close to you over those 4 years. I don't think I could have gotten through High School without you. You did more than enough and I just want you to know how thankful I am.

::mell::