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help me i think i lost my brain!!!!

all of you may know me by a diffrent name and how me and my ex would express ourslves each day in the form of a letter it helped us somehow ?
but now find what has happened to us really triggers alot of things in my head finding out the person iam and the person i choose to become learning as each day gets harder to move on reading some things that others have written about thier expericences have really helped me understand that not giving up on the things that bring you the most joy in youre life couldnt hurt . but in yhe long run could really cost me my life seriously asking for advice has never really been my thing it more or less and find what i realy want itsnt either i need to explain some things that might help you all understandok this is what happend for the start!!! my name is lindz and his name was chris him and i met about 6 1/2 yrs ago we didnt talk for two when we caught back up to eachother he was living at home so was i i had just left my husband for beating me up all the time it made me very stong i got over it about a year later we seen eachother on myspace and decied to give dating a chance. so we did i had never been so happy !!!! to get the chance he is really handsome well me i was a late bloomer . any how we move in together about two months later we couldnt take being a part . well as this goes we lost our place and move to my parents house wich dove us even further apart yes we fought an dhe threatined to leave 2 time because of the way i was and i jusdt didnt see it all in all we rented the place acrooss the street from my parents house any how he had an awome job and it helped alot i was working trying to save all i could he ended up loosing that job and my dad set him up with a job out of town for a month or so i miss him soo much and love him with all my heart but i said something and he took it the wrong way unfortnatly he thought i had broke up with him well as things goes he is still single and says he wants thing to work out and now wants me to move up there my mom and dad are throwing me out if i dont have the money they had let me borrow on monday wich i really dont make that much i am a waitress i am afriad he wont come threw but i do trust him it that worry i have a very big medical issue at the moment and i dont know if i will have to have sugery soon i just dont know what to do what can i do that is right ? for me and for him?
can anyone help me ?