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I am so tired of dissapointing myself. I hate the way it feels. Life had been going so well for me. I went yes went 30 days sober and i loved every minute of it. I then had a few as in way too many drinks on day 31. So i am now starting over and sticking to it this time. Fuck drinking all together i thought that maybe after 30 days i could have a few drinks. Well it turns out when im upset i just shouldnt drink because i drink way too much. I ended up spending too much money at the pub and then being horribly hungover then next day and of course very dissapointed in myself. Another lesson learned aye? I know now that I am better off just not drinking at all. So i started my sobriety over again yesterday and will continue to count the days. today is day 2 and of course i feel awful. I made it through my LEEP surgery ok. Im glad it is over. But n ow i am having some finacial problems and family issues and thoise are what lead me to drink a wee bit too much. Im sad to have to start over and sad i dont have good friends who supported my not drinking and embarrassed that i screwed up. Life is one big lesson and we are better for each one they say. Hopefully i can get it right this time. I pray i do. I just want to be a good person too you know. Ill be fine in the end after a few days of drowning in my sorrows ill surface and start fresh. And this time i will conquer my demon. I am just so unbelevably disgusted with myself today it hurts inside. I wish i had good people around who believed in me and supported me. But i dont people laughed and said yeah right youll be sober and others pressured me everytime i saw them to drink. what a waste, One minor set back wont hold me back for long tho. ill pick myself up and move foreward thats what life is all about right? I need to stop worrying about yesterday because its over and i can not change it. Ill worry about today and do good things and hope that tomorrow will be even more spactacular.
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Posted by laughing_gas on 2007-11-20 10:21:48 | Rating: | Views: 83
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You should check out AA, they will give you some much needed support in your recovery, good for you though for realizing your problem, stick to it, it will be worth it in the long run! If you ever wanna talk message me K?!
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-11-20 10:27:58
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It's times like these when you find out who your real friends are-the ones holding your hand and encouraging you to do the "right" thing.
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2007-11-20 10:54:11
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