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| drugs, sex, alcohol, and cigarettes
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I know I'm not the only woman on here who comes from....lets call it a tainted? past. Growing up for me was different, im sure like most of you. Well, about 3 or 4 years ago i cleaned it up. I gave up drugs, random guys, and cigarettes. I still cant push the alcohol. I have more control over it now than i ever have. I replaced my other addictions with alcohol which was retarded to say the least but im young what do you do......learn right? learn from fucking up. The point to this blog is lately drinking is blah. I will go out and have a few drinks and then leave go home wake up hungover and be worthless for the weekend and dissapointed in me. So i toned it down. I dont have the urge to go out and drink right now. It comes and goes. I drink about things mostly. Anyways, lately i have been having the urge to start smoking again and on occasion ill get the slightest urge to do drugs too. I dont know what it is. Im bored or unsatisfied i dunno. i just know what i feel. i know its dumb because ive been clean for so long and things are better this way. I just wonder, am i the only one who thinks and feels these things? And why do i feel like doing drugs and smoking what would that do but make me unhealthy and fucked up. Well just need to let out the fact that i have the urge especially lately to smoke newports and do drugs like coke and crystal. but dont worry i wont it is just that the feelings are there right now. i think im just lonely and bored at the moment with my life here and now. School starts in 2 weeks and then i wont have time to think of anything but work and school and when i can sleep so no bg deal just needed to get it out i guess. |
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Posted by laughing_gas on 2008-01-15 12:42:34 | Rating: | Views: 46
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