I am terrified of writing, of sitting down and sprawling my thoughts across whatever may be in front of me. I want so much to express what I think but the temptation to self edit is so great. My words are an embarassment to myself, or to the people I know, or to the people I would like to know. They barely translate from my mind to a page. I need to force myself to do it, to finally talk to myself, let me read my own thoughts and fuck my own desire for an elegent quoteable phrase. To fuck the correct spelling and useage of a word. I need to sit and face myself in white mirror.

    I don't journal. I've tried and tried and tried. Now all I want is to record my thoughts. To have them when I need them. To posess the ability to recall my past notions at a whim. And to share them with all who may read.