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| WHERE THE HELL WAS THE LORD LAST NIGHT?
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i've been reading blogs here for a while now and tonight told a dirty little secret of my own. i got a serious black eye last night for buying a car radio and then having no one to put it in. why don't i have anyone to put the freaking thing in? because the ass that hit me for it has everyone so afraid to do anything for me that i'm fucked. i thought maybe i could talk someone into it but no, so i got the right fist to the left eye. not pretty today, hell it wasn't pretty last night. so when i read on these blogs about the lord, god, the almighty being there to carry them or not giving them anymore than they can handle, i say "bull shit". where was the lord last night when i was getting pummeled? where was he when i was getting cursed and swore at over some stupid radio. hell i bought the thing because i keep falling asleep at the wheel on my way to work. it was an essential thing to buy i thought at the time. i'm trying to save my life not put it in jeopardy and then i get the shit beat out of me? why? maybe the devil was there instead. at least he would admit he was there and trying to make me miserable. but god?? where were you? why didn't you take him and do something? make the fist go elsewhere? give him a change of heart? give me a fucking break for once in my fucking life? god i hate you so much right now. i hate all that you stand for and i hate the fact that you don't protect me. i've been trying so long and so hard to keep what little faith i have safe and sound but when i'm getting pounded by some drunken asshole and you are no where to be seen i am puzzled. why hath thou forsaken me? why don't you give me an answer to the million dollar question? why don't you get rid of the one thing that stands between me and my freedom? the one thing that only you know about? why? why? why fucking, whY? for all those that will read this and be insulted and angry at my anger with "THE LORD", save it. i give up. i call uncle. i can't do it anymore. i sit here with an eye swollen shut, black, watering, and painful and don't give a shit anymore. spouse 1, me 0 thats it. thats just it. now my secret is out and i feel relieved. i was going to pull my last blog off the site and now i think "hell no". let that bitch stand tall and let it ride. i may be down for the count but that blog is public knowledge of my life and it's now documented. peace and harmony
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Posted by lastblastkl on 2008-03-05 19:52:36 | Rating: | Views: 153
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Good question where is the great holy one when ppl need him, don't get me wrong but I think its just something for most ppl to fall to when they have nothing else just my oppion, & I really dislike guy's that hit their g/f's wife's etc. they are just evil ppl, try to Have a Good Day!
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Posted by fromwithin
on 2008-03-05 20:24:23
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DONT SAY THAT THE LORD IS AROUND HE JUST DONT SETTLE FIGHTS HE DONT BELIEVE IN THAT
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Posted by hot2trot181920
on 2008-03-05 20:29:21
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You go girl, get pissed! but are ya pissed enough for that skillet yet? I'll also light a candle for ya within my circle. Again, blessings to you, as you have many to come. (Wiccan)
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Posted by LpnMom94
on 2008-03-05 20:58:30
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from within,i'm beginning to believe he is only around for the chosen few and i'm not one of them. i hate men that hit too, but then i'm a bit prejudiced (spelling on that one)
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-05 22:01:20
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hot to trot, he doesn't settle fights because he doesn't believe in that??? are you kidding me?? he can create humans?can create an entire world in 7 days? can run the heavens above? but he can't keep one asshole from putting his fist through a womans face? give me a break!
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-05 22:04:38
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lpnmom, oh my god am i pissed! did you get a load of the god don't settle fights? i guess the almighty is too busy sitting on his throne for peons like me. how do i type complete frustration on this thing?
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-05 22:06:57
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my last girlfriend hit me and scratched me. well one night she did it then called the cops and got arrested herself! well I still hope you will be ok (in the future) I hope you can do what you need to. best wishes.
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Posted by zypvashna
on 2008-03-06 00:59:02
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I am glad that you are letting this out. This is your time and speaking as a domestic violence survivor gather as many positive forces you need to bring you through. I know that its hard to believe that God will allow such monsterous things to happen to his people and when I was going through my great grandmother used to tell me even when you are in the mist of people and you think that you are all alone he is there with you, you just don't it yet. I never understood what she meant until later. I hope that this has helped you and I am here from you.
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Posted by Nubian
on 2008-03-06 05:34:40
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I've often wondered the very question you pose - where is God when bad things happen to good people? But, the missing link I found out was that man & woman have free will. The man makes choices - to hit, to drink or not to drink, to abuse women, to be a man, a good man, to stop hurting others. Woman makes choices, too - to stay, to take the abuse, to leave & find a safe place, to quit taking it, to stop the abuse.
I am proud of you for uncovering the secret. You are not alone. Use the anger you feel and the courage I know you have within you to move forward and leave this abusive relationship. You deserve better!
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-03-06 08:30:13
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nubian, ellie,zyprashna, i am getting stronger and not through the grace of god but in spite of it. my eye is still watering and is very blood shot. i really do look a mess. ice packs are a girl's best friend. thanks for the encouragement. it helps.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-06 09:04:19
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Great advice, Blue about the hospital and the photos.
I have my grandmother's cast iron skillet if you need it! He'll walk over, but guarantee you, he will limp back!
Your eye will get better, what I'm worried is about your spirit...
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-03-06 09:54:16
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ellie; i'm thinking about my spirit. don't think it's around anymore. it's been replaced by anger, hurt, betrayal, discuss, humiliation, embarrassment, shame, more anger, and an enoumous amount of hatred for me.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-06 21:37:29
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