Thoughts.com Blogs - TO WHO EVER FINDS THIS "I LOVE YOU"

I wrote a blog several days ago about making a difference in other's lives. i supose i wanted others on this site to understand just what a difference you all have made in my life. when i first started blogging on here i was afraid to do anything. i read the posts and saw the bookmarks and friends lists and was so lonely because i had none. i learned to earmark some people that i thought were interesting or that maybe in the future i could relate to but never contacted anyone for fear that it would be a trap and the spouse would find out and would hurt me again. i felt his eyes on me and his wrath. i never want to make him angry although i seem to do that without trying. i let the phone ring too long, not long enough. i let a light on. i let HIS heat go into the upstairs. i didn't give him enough money. didnt pay the bill soon enough. talk too much? don't talk enough? everything i literally do is an affront to this man. he is the RESIDENT EVIL. but i have managed to become invisible a lot. i can stay out of someone's way real good. i can be as invisible as a shadow and as elusive as any butterfly. this site has gotten me through some of the darkest days. the people i have met are kind and understanding and not at all the scary audience that i had anticipated. and yes those comments are lifesaving to me. i cannot speak for everyone but to me personally the comments are a true blessing. in my blog i wrote about making a difference i spoke of a little girl in an orphanage. i won't go into it here (maybe you'll read it) but she made a difference in someone's life and in turn that person made a difference in hers. we all make huge differences in our daily existence but most notably on this site. sometimes when i can't sleep i come into my computer room where it's all quiet and just read blog after blog after blog and make my comments. i'm just a name on the computer is what i'm thinking. sometimes an IM will pop up and i am scared shitless. i think "uh oh someone wants to kick your ass". but so far there has been no "ass kicking" on thoughts, i am very pleased to say. this is when i find out that my little comments have made a very big difference in someone else's life. this is when i find out that someone cares about my opinion, my thoughts, my friendship and me. the tears that i have shed in sheer emotion from all of you have been millions. the smiles that all of you have given me are endless. the light that all of you have shone on me makes me warm. for all this i want to thank you. to those on my friends list, and my bookmark list and for those that i have yet to put on those lists you are on the most important list "my hearts list" which is very long indeed. you are my touch stones, my rock, my inspiration and my reason to keep plugging on here. to keep going another day and maybe soon i won't have to feel so invisible anymore. i'll be able to stand up and not be afraid. i am much better because i have a group of very special people to listen to me rant, rave, swear, cry to, laugh with, and love with. i have been able to talk about my intimate thoughts feel a sense freedom i have never known in my entire life. if i could i would mention by name each of you that has done so much but won't for fear of embarassing you and myself. so i will continue to blog in the millions of bloggers here hoping that i will touch someone as i have been touched. that my comments will be of help as the comments left for me have helped me. and that someday i will have the privledge and honor of really getting to know you. SO TO WHOEVER FINDS THIS "I LOVE YOU" ! peace and harmony