After a pretty miserable day 'S' finally talked me into talking. He basically told me I'm a good person. I need to listen to the good in myself and not to ppl that make me feel bad about things. Negative vibes are not good (gen, thanks for the positive ones).
It's really easy (too easy) for me to get down on myself. I've been told for too many years what a piece of shit I am and I am just beginning to scratch the surface of feeling OK about things, life and myself in general. I have had some infatuations and crushes but 'S' is a mature (i question that at times...but thats another post) man who can and does give me the emotional support I need and deserve. It's nice to have someone actually want to hear things about me and not make me feel like crap for talking. I think sometimes I'm not so bad and he tells me that. He doesn't push, but gently prods. He is truly a good human being who was a friend and now is something more. I like that.....I really do.
We talked for a long time today and I felt the entire mood shift almost before my eyes. My body relaxed and I found myself laughing and smiling. How did he do that??? He's like a magician at times with me.
So, I'll take another deep breath and let my life continue another day.
WOW, this being an adult is hard work.
|
|
| Views: 79
Email This to a Friend 
