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| I WAS WAITING FOR THE PUNCH AND ...........
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ok, lets try this again. i had typed and was ready to post and lost the entire thing ! omg whats that about?? today i talked to my kids (pretty great kids) about the THING that said spouse has been holding over me for 15 yrs (15yrs???????????). my youngest steph actually wanted to take me out to lunch so we could REALLY TALK and we did. i told her my story and cried in my crab soup (the best crab soup, mind you) and she basically (in a nut shell) told me to get rid of her sperm donor of a father and leave. she was proud of me for being her mom. we finished our lunch and then took riley window shopping and had a very enjoyable, relaxing, stress free afternoon. i got home about 3:30 and my brother called and wanted my to meet his fiance from the philliphines. i told him riley and i would be down in a few minutes (we live only about 2 min away). i loved her immdiately. i hugged her tight and several times (me needing a hug lately anyways) and then hugged my big bro (again several times too). we got to talking and one thing lead to another and i was pouring my heart out to him as well (my tear ducts are going crazy). he cried for me, i cried, we all cried. it was cleansing. we left there around 5 and i dropped riley off at my daughter's bakery and went home. i felt the tightness in my stomach start, wasn't for sure what it was all about but it was most definitly there. went in the house and said spouse was upset to put it mildly. i had gotten the mail and laid it (what he is suposed to pay) on the table. he was angry because one of the bills that he was suposed to pay he hasn't been paying and it was NOW DUE AND AT $1400.00. "got any money?" he asks with all the pleasantrys of a snake. "no, i don't. i pay my bills". (ok karen. just yes or no will suffice) (shutteth thy lippeth upeth). "well i can't pay this fucking bill". (ok, mouth shut up, don't say it, i mean it) "well if you'd get a job like a man and work 40 hrs a week then you'd be able to pay the fucking bill". (jesus karen when will you ever learn???) so up the stairs i start! now, girlfriend, what did the shelter teach you when there is a confrontation on the horizon??? never, but never put yourself in a place where there is no escape route! where does your upstairs go to?? the attic you say?? BUZZZZZZZZZ ! wrong answer! "you are in deep shit now" spouse says. "you need to be a man". (now, i know that didn't just come out of your mouth girlfriend!) but it did. up the stairs i go and into my room. my sanctuary. didn't lock the door because i knew he would break it down. (been there and done that). i barely made it in and he comes charging in like custer's last stand. "who the fuck do you think you're talking to here?". (ummmm, lets see, ASSHOLE??) the pushes start and the shoves begin. back and back until i reach my bed and one finger pushed into my chest made me sit. had no where else to go. i can feel my mouth getting dry but not before shooting out with "i want you out of my room now". (ooohhh, not so good for a pissed off man.) "oh you do, do you? and just who is here that is going to put me out of your room? huh?" i backed up as far as i could like he was a serpent ready to strike and by backing up i could elude the venom that was spewing at me. filth and disgust was pouring out of him at me and thats all you need to know about that because the words don't have to be spelled out. just take my word on this one. when i could get a word in edgewise i said "get out of my room with your stinking cigarette and your beer and leave me alone". (what, who just said that? i know it wasn't the mouth again, or was it?) "what are you gonna do about it? huh? what are you gonna do about it? huh? . like i needed it repeated twice. by this time i'm seriously in search mode for the baseball bat. where in the hell is the damn thing when you need it?? couldn't find it anywhere that i could get at it, so my eyes started darting around my immediate area. "i want you out of my room and to leave me alone and i'll get a fucking room mate, anything is better than you". now by this time the mouth is dryer than a desert in mid day heat. but it just keeps on going like that damn pink rabbit. "you are an ass hole and i want you out now!" i start looking for my cell phone. i know he sees my eyes darting around. "listen missie, what are you gonna do? huh? call the police? we both know how that turned out last time don't we?" now, in his defense, it wasn't the 'boys in blues' finest hour. so i'll give him that one. i was afraid he would throw my cell phone so i looked for another option. the house phone? i looked towards that and i was right he took it but didn't throw it. god only knows why he didn't take my cell. with that finger pointed in my face so close it touched my nose he starts telling me "fuck you, fuck you! where do you think you'll find someone to do for you the way i do missie?" ok now #1 this is the second inference to missie. who the hell is missie??? oh, thats me! short for mrs. asshole. got it now! #2 helloooooooo? what you do for me???? are you on something?? drugs?? alchohol??? glue???? cleaning solutions???? what the fuck do you do for me??? oh, i almost forgot the black eye. forgive me for not saying "THANK YOU M'LORD.". god, give me a break. what you do for me? almost choked right now just saying the words. i can feel mouth getting ready for the final scene. shut up, don't say anything! aahhhhhh! "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, OUT OF MY HOUSE, OUT OF MY LIFE, I HATE YOU!" ok girlfriend, now you did it. the fist is clenched and ready. he is seething with rage and i swear his eyes are red. this man wants to literally kill me right now with his bare hands. i'm going to die right here after i finally got things somewhat done. my eyes are cast downward to the floor. my head is so low it could sit on my lap. my shoulders are drawn up because i know as sure as i know my name the fist is coming and i'll be lucky if all i get is a black eye this time, damn lucky. will i bleed out? will i have a face after this? will it hurt too much? yes, no and yes! just that quick the fist comes down and it was hard and it was heavy and it missed my head and got my pillow. (poor traumatized pillow). what the fuck was that? misfire? a dud? ok, so lets chalk it up to a misfire. what was that? did i just pee my pants? ready for the second one? hell no, but not in a great position here, IT NEVER CAME. he said as he was walking out the door and giving me the bird "i'm getting out. you're going to be so sorry because you won't have me to cry to and get money when you need it and you won't have me around to treat badly". now the only thing i really heard was "i'm getting out". the rest was blah, blah, blah, blah. "are you really? " not wanting to sound too, too excited but inside i'm just doing the happy dance. "you're fucking right. see how you like it!" oh, m'lord i already do like it. happy dance! happy dance! so my fellow bloggers no black eye today! yea!! happy dance! and he actually was looking in the paper when i sort of snuck down stairs a little while ago although i didn't know pigs actually knew how to read the newspaper. so today its spouse -1 me 20 i think i deserve a C+. happy dance !! peace and harmony |
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Posted by lastblastkl on 2008-03-11 21:17:39 | Rating: | Views: 105
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GO GIRL!!!! I'm elated for you!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'm happy dancing too!
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Posted by otherwoman
on 2008-03-11 22:24:04
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isn't happy dancing fun. happy dancing together.....thank you otherewoman
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-11 22:26:26
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thats wonderful, honey good for you. Happy dancing right with you two, lol =)
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Posted by candimarie
on 2008-03-11 23:04:28
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candimarie: what a sweet name. thank you for dancing with me. my feet are just happy dancing all over the place.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-12 01:25:16
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Happy dancing with you also. I have been praying for you and will not relax and rest easy until you are totally away from this man. Peace & Hugs
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Posted by ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-03-12 02:46:46
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You did it.....And where did you think God was???Right on the pillow this time taking the hit for you.....Just like all the stripes, He is there holding you out oof the way and the butt-munch is outta there.....Change the Locks, throw everything of his out the window and get that restraining order now...............And tell them Dang cops that if they DO NOT PROTECT you this time, you will sue them for every cent they make from here on out.......Get a lawyer and some pepper spray.............You Rock my friend.....Praying for daylight...
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Posted by Hollis
on 2008-03-12 07:48:53
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Oh that is the best news I've had in days. Please move quickly to secure your home and yourself.... don't let this horrible animal back in.
I wishing you a speedy excavation of him... let the door hit his sorry arse on the way out.... let the sun shine in your windows from now and forever more.
Cheers for you!
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-03-12 08:08:41
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coloradodreamin. thanks for the support. i didn't know so many people were pulling for me. it feels good to stand on my own.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-12 14:54:39
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hollis, girlfriend i knew you'd be here. it's strange how i care about people i don't even know. just words and pictures and these people become my family and my lifeline. you are at the lead.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-12 14:56:41
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easytosay, i follow your blogs like you must follow mine. soul sisters? maybe! thanks for the prayers. i'm like a weeble. i wobble but i won't fall down.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-03-12 14:58:21
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We'er dancing dancing!!!!!! I agree with Hollis. God was there with you.
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Posted by Nubian
on 2008-03-12 16:59:46
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WOWOWOW! I just got home and immediately was led to your post! My mouth was so damn dry as I was reading, jeez!!!! I'm thrilled that you did two HUGE things:
uncovered the "secret" to your kids and to your brother. Huge.
and, you confronted the beast and lived to tell the tale! God was certainly with you and I hear strength after strength in your voice. You can do it! Be SAFE and be smart now. The first thing I did was change the locks, as well. The lease was in his name, but I didn't care!
The Beast found a new side to you and it probably confused him to no end. Let him leave, sweetheart. You CAN make it!
XXX
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Posted by Ellie2008
on 2008-03-12 17:05:29
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