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With all this turmoil lately with my 'friend' Tinkerbell, I started to wonder what 'real' friends are. Are they someone that you see on a daily basis? Are they those that you rarely see but yet 'know' in your heart that should the need arise they'll be there? Are they those invisible ppl behind the screens of our computers? Is that elusive friend just someone you tell your secrets too? Those things that no one else in the world could possibly understand or care about. Are friends those that love you unconditionally and will always be there for you no matter what? I thought until recently that Tink was indeed that kind of friend. I take my friendships very seriously. I don't take many into my confidence and trust few.
There are times in our lives that we feel that we are in need of companionship. We feel that we need others that feel the same way we do or that may challenge us to be better. We look for encouragement from people other than our family. At times like this you are tempted to put more faith in friends. But do you know if they are your true friends?
Have you ever heard the term 'fair weather' friend? We all know "fair-weather" friends are no good." A "fair-weather" friend is just that, they're there when the times are going good and all is well. As soon as things go bad or you need emotional support, your fair weathered friend will be hard to find and not available. I believe Tink was in that category and I was just too stupid or too blind to see it. When James was having his kidney transplant, she knew I was in her corner pulling for him. She just knew it instinctively. She knew I was as close as her phone if and when she ever needed me. I supose even with things the way they are now, I still would be. I can't turn my back on someone in need, even those that have hurt me. I don't know how to do that. Blame it on my parents....blame it on a soft heart....blame it on the anything. It's just the way I am and I do not want to be any different.
Then we have "know-it-all" friends, they are always telling us why our life is not right and how things will turn out unless we do exactly what they say. So what is the remedy? I read a quote in an article "Friends can be compared to trees. There are friends that are like the leaves. They are there for a while but then they are gone when the seasons change. Then you have those that are like the branches, they are more durable than the leaves but eventually they will not be able to support all the circumstances you go through in life and will break away. Then you have those that are like the trunk of the tree, these are similiar to you life long friends"
This is not a bad thing but you need to understand that not all friends are met to be around all the time. There will come times where you will outgrow some of your friends or you may have a friend come into your life for just a certain time and once they have accomplished what they were suppose to accomplish in your life they will move on. Your life will forever be better for having known them though.
Friends will be there when times are tough, when you lose your job, when you have bad relationships and spats with your family. These friends are few and far between. Just look around and see those that are there for you in your times of need. The ones that will step out of their own comfort zone to help you. They will laugh, cry, get angry, protect, tell the truth and the list goes on. They add to you in more ways then one. They are a support system to you. They listen and their advice comes from what is best for you with out self motives. They add quality to your life and those around you. They are the ones that know you need something and they do it without you asking them. They are the ones that are your friends even when everyone else is questioning your character. They never change, they are always the same.
To determine your real friends, look at your life and see who has been there for you through thick and thin. Besides your family, you will find that you have a few friends that are true-blue.
I found this poem and I guess it says it all:
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parent or children's first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after she has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it (but wouldn't).
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight. (Even if it was with them).
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Friends cannot be your shrink. They can give you motherly advice but can't be the 'answer to all your problems'.They can't be your 'family' although many are closer than family. They can be your "friend" and to me.....thats plenty! Thanks to those here that are my "friends"....You give true meaning to the word.
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Posted by lastblastkl on 2008-10-06 11:32:09 | Rating: | Views: 85
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that is a great poem... thank you for sharing that with us and I think you have it right!!
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-10-06 11:35:22
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Thank you Douglas. I've come to realize that my actual 'friends' list is a lot shorter than I had realized though and that is a painful thing to know. Doesn't do much for my spirits lately either. Again....my thanks.
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-06 11:38:29
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I love this K. I struggle so much with my friendships. I have such a hard time finding people who think like me. It sounds like I am similar to you, I am always there for my friends; they know, if they need me, I am only a phone call away, no matter the day or time. When I say I will be there, or that I will do something, I do it. And I expect my friends to treat me the same in return... problem is, that most people are not like that. Most people fall into the 'fair weather' friend category.... at least for me. And, as a result, my 'friends list' has dwindled dramatically. I acutally feel like a lot of the people I talk to on here are much better friends to me than some of my 'real life' friends (though that gets weird looks if I tell anyone)
Anyway, I am rambling now.. haha. I hope that your spirits brighten up soon.
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Posted by country_girl
on 2008-10-06 13:02:42
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Amy
We do seem to think along the same lines. I think in my past that I had to be friendless for so long that now I just don't know how and seem to pick the wrong ppl in a desparate attempt to 'make up' for what I've missed out on. Does that make any sense? I also agree with you that those I've met here are better than any I have in 'real life' and those that have 'crossed over' that internet line I love dearly and will have forever. I truly believe that. Thank you!
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-06 13:39:41
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K--
"Real" friends "will" be in short supply. Anybody can say they're
your friend, but it takes a special person to really share your
hopes, your dreams, your sorrows and your joy.
The real trick is in knowing who those "true" friends are.
All the best...
funnyman
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Posted by funnyman57
on 2008-10-06 15:56:29
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FM
Thanks for saying that. Too bad theres not a friend-o-meter. A machine that you could put ppl in and see if they're true or fair weather. I'd like that a lot. I don't like learning the hard way....after the fact. Again...ty. :)
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-06 17:22:45
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I believe if we only have a small handful of true friends throughout our lives then we are truly blessed. For me a friend is there in times of real trouble, someone who will draw close to you and celebrate with you when trouble passes. The best friend I have is not always round me but always there the second I need her. Come to think of it I know 3 people like that, so I'm richly blessed. God bless K.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-10-07 02:36:21
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I loved this post. I have only a few "true" friends and lots of aquaintances. All you really need is one, so I consider myself a very lucky person :)
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-10-07 08:33:58
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Just found an article in a magazine which says, and I quote
'Friendship is more generous than love. Friends should rejoice in your success and you in theirs. They should be a solace and a refuge, a healing when times gets tough, a constancy when all else seems to be falling apart.' It also adds that a gay male friend is to be cherished and valued.
Now, does that sound like Tinkerbell? I don't think so - LOL
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-10-07 09:40:14
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E
Thank you and I seem to agree. I haven't had the pleasure of having too many friends in my life since I've led such a guarded one. Friends were always something others had, not me....wasn't allowed. But I'd like to have just a couple that were there when I needed them. They wouldn't have to be in my face all the time but just there for me to have a soft place to call home when i needed it. That would be so nice. And no....that doesn't sound like Tink...in fact far from it. Thank you and I'll have another good cry and then I'm done with it. Got any tissues???? :)
SLOW
I think one is lucky to have one good one too. I envy those that have many but one is all that really needed. Oddly enough, mine are not in my real life but here and I hope to never lose them. :)
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-07 10:58:58
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Kaz, I think friendship is different for everyone. And in saying that, I think it takes on many forms, and many different definitions.
But essentially for me, a REAL friend is someone that genuinly cares and I care back for them. Hmmm that's broad isn't it?
I like Auntie E (overthehillandfaraway)'s quote.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-10-07 16:25:06
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Kel
I too liked her quote...shes pretty smart!
Friendship seems sometimes too hard...but I guess anything worth having is worth the work...:)
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-07 16:29:02
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I just adored your poem and ur view of friendship.It's simply marvelous.I am sure glad I read it.
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Posted by snakewoman
on 2008-10-10 08:47:14
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I think friends are the most wonderful gift we have. I treasure each and everyone I get in life. True friends are rare though and it takes an internet site to find them...how strange is that? Thank you for the uplifting words...email sent!!! :)
SK
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-10 16:00:18
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