i've been having some dreams lately (those of you that have read my blog know this). this blog is not of another dream (so put your tongues back in your mouths). i am wondering though why i only see eyes and no face. are they are the eyes of a man i know or dream of knowing? are they the windows of his soul i am seeing?   i read a quote today:
 
 YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE

WHEN YOU SEE THE WORLD IN HIS EYES, 

AND HIS EYES EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD.

so i'm asking is that what i'm truly doing? seeing the world and my dreams through the eyes of someone i'm in love with? or am i in love with the eyes that i'm seeing ? i wish i knew so badly. is he a phantom? or someone i know? i'd like to think hes someone i know and hope to know better. the forbidden fruit as they say. god, i don't know what happens to me on mondays. i have off work and get on this site and just pour my heart out. at the end of the day i certainly feel relieved of a lot of crap (sometimes). some days i just mess my own mind up and confuse the hell out of myself. i used to hate nights because i don't sleep well, if in fact i sleep at all. the nights seemed so long and lonely and so empty. now they don't because i found there are those that also don't sleep or for what ever reason like to do their talking at night. it makes my nights go a little better and a lot less lonely. i enjoy the conversations i have with the nightowl. hes pretty cool and very wise in a lot of ways. he sometimes tries to be too cool and doesn't like the softer side to come out much. i on the other hand am drawn to that very side and find it so much more manly than the other stuff. i find that a man that is secure enough in his self that he can cry and be romantic and mellow out is so much the man i want in my life. he is in my book the "ultimate man". i think most women think that too. he dosen't have to write poetry, or verse. he doesn't have to be macho or a knight in shining armor (only to me) but just a man that is not afraid of seeing the beauty the world offers. i look forward to the nights lately and hope it continues. i am tired of being put on hold and the games others play. been there and done that and never again. maybe i'm coming into myself here and deciding that i'm better than that. i deserve to have someone ask me how i'm doing instead of me asking that question.  yeah, i'm definitely growing up. if i can keep my nightowl up tonite, i'll tell him this too. i'll tell him that i see the world through his eyes and his eyes in the world. peace and harmony.