Thoughts.com Blogs - DIET DIVORCE A NEW PROJECT?? OH YEAH!

OK had my first counseling session today and it went well i think. we talked about a lot of things going on in my life and i was open with her to a fault. felt embarassed about somethings but i got through it. i think i'm going to like her a lot. i saw someone in legal too and felt better for that also.

these people at HH ( the shelter) are willing to put themselves and their agency on the line for a woman in need. AND i'm also in line for an apartment (YEA!).

there will be minimal expense and i'll be safe behind locked doors. i work in the same city it will be in so it'll work out. just need to be patient and wait for one to become available. all seems well with the world at the moment......SIGH........

after i got home i got on the scale and discovered i had lost another couple pounds so i started to think about how i could use this divorce diet to my advantage. i'm in with a group at work and i am very competetive when it comes to this particular area. so while i'm losing for whatever reason i decided to begin an exercise routine.

i've done it before so why not? i came home and parked in town and put on my headsets and began walking and then a power walk and then a slow jog. i must have gone a couple miles and i felt so damn good. no use getting flabby here. i don't want a 6 pack ab, but i do want a flat stomach for sure and a tight ass. yes i do. in a few years it won't matter what my abs and ass look like, no one will want me around but for now while i still have the "good genes" working for me, hell yes i want that. i want to look in the mirror and see a good body staring back.

it's important to me and in my control right now and very attainable. AND it gives me something to work towards. i need a project badly and i don't have one. i mean i have a lot of shit on my plate but not a personal goal for me. u know what i mean just for me. i'll need to get more manheim steamroller tapes for sure.

he can get me moving more so than any other music i've listned to. right now its manheim steamroller meets the mouse (mickey of course).

this week i'll be off a few days and visiting my friend in another state. i sound so traveled don't i?

i'm excited and scared bc of what she says. i don't want to be rude, i truly do not but i am ademant about this dating thing. people need to understand right now i don't want it. i need to heal for me and get stronger. i mean if mr. right were to call me up and say "hey baby, lets rock and roll" and i knew he was mr right then maybe.

if the man in my dreams with the eyes were to call me up then i know i'd jump right out of my skin. i'd be a fool not to. i dream of that person so often in that house i keep seeing. the same eyes and the same house. i think fate is telling me something. all i know is i am disappointed when i wake up and sometimes am anxious to fall asleep. strange the things we enjoy. so i take a deep breath and ................sigh..........again. peace and harmony