Thoughts.com Blogs - AND SHE SLEPT !

I slept last night like a baby. i went to bed early bc i was literally exhausted both physically and emotionally and i slept, got up for about a little while got something to drink and got on the computer for a while. a friend (and i still have to deal with her) signed me up on another site and i finally the other day went on it. i had a terrible experience and thought "i'm going to knock her on her butt" (even though her intentions were good). i swore i would never go back on but then found out the amazing world of "blocking and deleting". those are wonderful skills, so i went back on last night and someone wanted to IM me and we started talking. it wasn't romantic or anything but we did start to talk and he was an attorney (my good fortune). he knew the law in the state of md and informed me of quite a few things i did not know. wow, am i gullible? the spouse has been so a bunch of shit. he can't do 99% of the things hes been tossing around. who the hell has he been getting legal advice from? satan? must be because it certainly wasn't from anyone that knows the law or our circumstances or me. like for instance, i will be able to collect half his pension. HALF? thats pretty good. also he has a good business on the side and hasn't paid taxes on any of it. now the guy told me (off the record) that i could tell him to pay me alimony from that or i could report him to the IRS. that sounds a little like blackmail though, don't u think? but this man was ruthless. i need him here in md/pa. he says the spouse is an asshole and if i don't get all and he meant all that i deserve and have earned (the hard way) there is no justice here. he actually recommended a friend here that would help me if not take the case either cheap or pro bono. what are the chances of me getting on the computer at that time and getting on that site and finding this man at that time? what one in a thousand? the BIG MAN UPSTAIRS is definitely looking out for me now. we talked for a very long time it seemed and it was a nice talk. no expectations and no pressure. went back to bed and slept the rest of the night and even had a nice dream. ......sigh........so here i am having my morning coffee seeing whats happening in the blogging world. things are good. i only had one set back yesterday and it had nothing to do with the spouse but i dealt with it. not really but its over and done with and life goes on. somethings u cannot explain things and cannot do anything about them so i'm not. i can't change minds and i'm tired of fighting the inevitable. my trust has been challenged again and again. i keep thinking i can trust and i get fucked every time. every time. so from now on the only person i will trust is me. i'm the only one that won't screw me.
riley will be up soon and when it finally hits him i'm here and he won't be coming to my house he will be happy. he loves coming to see me but will like it better now that i'm here. i'll start dinner in the crockpot and then he and i are taking tabasco sauce for a drive. its a beautiful day here in the mountains. birds are chirping like its spring and the sun is out and just pouring in my window. spring is when things begin anew like with me! ....sigh.... a good morning and it was a good night!! SHE SLEPT!