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| A WORLD OF SHIT HITS THE FAN!
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earlier i wrote a blog about something that happened to me with someone i have been communicating with lately. i knew he wouldn't approve of it and thought of not writing the blog but then thought "isn't that the whole point of this site to write our feelings good or bad?". two people in the same situation. do they both see it the same way? no! do they both think they're correct? yes! do they both feel justified in saying what they are feeling? absolutely! are they both ok in doing so? yes, yes and yes! i'm new to this whole relationship thing and am just winging it here. i don't know what the protocol is in arguing. i don't like fighting at all. i don't like the things that are said in the heat of passion. i know that we say horrible things to those we care about when we argue and once they're said it's impossible to get those words back again. words hurt worse than hitting. words last longer than the bruising. words cut to the bone. words are forever. hitting only lasts as long as the sting does. i live it everyday. i know it everyday. words are the absolute worst. so is it any wonder that for a very long time i said so little to people that many actually thought i was either mute or had a speech impediment? now that i've come out of my shell some i'm finding it painful and sad. i want to say and do the right thing. i want to be able to hold up my end of the conversation. i want to be able to take up for myself. i'm sorry i hurt the person i referred to in my earlier blog. i would never do that in a million years and i'm sure in his heart he knows that. he knows what kind of person i am. i don't like feeling lost and i am. i don't like feeling wrong and i know that i might be. i don't like feeling hurt and i am devestated. but do i only blog on things that make others happy? do i blog on things that i need to work out in my mind? can i blog on whatever my hearts desire? are there different rules here on thoughts.com for me? i think it's time to move to another site. |
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Posted by lastblastkl on 2008-02-12 18:52:56 | Rating: | Views: 64
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