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I RECENTLY POSTED A BLOG DEDICATED TO MY LITTLE GRANDSON. I CHANGED THE TITLE A LITTLE SO MORE PEOPLE WOULD READ IT. I WANT PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD TO MEET SCOTTIE AND KNOW JUST WHAT A WONDERFULLY SPECIAL YOUNG MAN HE IS. HE WAS ON THIS EARTH SUCH A SHORT TIME AND ANYONE THAT HAS HIM IN THEIR LIFE VIA A BLOG SITE OR ACTUALLY KNOWING HIM WILL BE FOREVER TOUCHED BY HIM. NORMALLY I DON'T CARE IF ANYONE READS MY STUFF BECAUSE I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON I DO MY BLOGS FOR ME AND NOT FOR EVERYONE AROUND ME. I WRITE FOR MY OWN THERAPY AND NO ONE ELSE'S. THATS NOT A SELFISH ATTITUDE BUT A SELF PRESERVATION ONE. SOME CARE THAT THEY GET ON THE "MOST POPULAR BLOGS" . NOT ME! IF SOMEONE STUMBLES UPON MY BLOGS AND READS THEM "GREAT". IF NOT THEN THATS OK TOO. I'M NOT GOING TO CEASE TO EXIST OR STOP WRITING JUST BECAUSE OF THAT. THIS MORNING I'VE JUST BEEN RANDOMLY FLIPPING THROUGH THEM AND FOUND SOME NEW FRIENDS AND BECAME AN INSTANT FAN TO SOME. I COULD READ THEIR STUFF ALL DAY. IT'S DOWN TO EARTH, COMES FROM THEIR GUT, AND SAYS THINGS LIKE MOST OF US ARE THINKING. COS ( CHANGE OF SUBJECT) I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A NICE PEACEFUL DAY AT HOME TODAY. BAM, RIGHT IN THE FREAKING FACE FIRST THING THIS MORNING! THE SPOUSE IS HOME. BOO, BOO, BOO! WHAT DAMN HOLIDAY IS IT TODAY THAT HE HAS OFF AND WHO THOUGHT OF IT? (HE HAS OFF ON FEDERAL HOLIDAYS DUE TO HIS JOB).SO WHATS TODAY? ASSHOLITUS DAY? SHITTY SPOUSE DAY? OR MY FAVORITE, EARTH DAY FOR THE RECTUMS OF NATURE! SO I GO OUT INTO THE HALLWAY AND HEAR THE TV. GHOSTS AGAIN? HELL NO, IT'S THE SPOUSE. I'D RATHER IT BE MY GHOST. HELL I'D RATHER IT BE A FREAKING FLESH RIPPING ZOMBIE ARMY THAN THE SPOUSE. I SUPOSE YOU GATHER HE IS NOT MY FAVORITE PERSON. HOW RIGHT YOU ARE! I READ A BLOG THIS MORNING ABOUT A COUPLE THAT WERE IN A TERRIBLE PLACE IN THEIR MARRIAGE. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL STORY. WHETHER IT WAS TRUE, I DON'T KNOW. I ASKED THE WRITER IF IT WAS AND HAVEN'T HEARD BACK YET, BUT I DIGRESS. I TRIED IN THIS "MARRIAGE" I AM IN. I TRIED FOR MANY MOONS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. THERAPY, THERAPY, THERAPY, PRAYERS, COURT ORDERED THERAPY, MORE PRAYERS AND FINALLY DECIDED THAT HE IS THE RECTUM OF NATURE (AN ASSHOLE) AND RATHER THAN BE HIS PROCTOLOGIST I'D THROW IN THE TOWEL. I COULD BE LIKE THE BOBBIT WOMAN. I THOUGHT OF CUTTING HIS PENIS OFF, SEWING IT ON BACKWARDS AND LETTING HIM F--- HIMSELF. BUT DECIDED NAH! I AM MAKING PLANS AS WE SPEAK TO GET OUT. I AM MAKING PLANS TO VISIT A NEW PERSON IN MY LIFE. I AM MAKING PLANS TO START LIVING AGAIN AND NEVER LOOK BACK ON THIS HUMAN ARMPIT THAT I MARRIED. COS ( CHANGE OF SUBJECT) YESTERDAY I HAD A MINOR FENDER BENDER WITH A TREE OR I SHOULD SAY THE TREE HAD A MINOR TREE BENDER WITH MY JEEP. IT HIT ME NOT ME HITTING IT. I AVOIDED IT BUT GOT A HEAD BUTT WITH IT. TODAY I LOOK LIKE I WAS IN A BOUT WITH TYSON AND LOST BIG TIME. I HAVE THE BLACK EYE AND BRUISED CHEEK. THEY WILL NEVER BELIEVE ME AT WORK THAT THIS TIME IT WAS A TREE LIMB AND NOT THE SPOUSE. I'LL EXPERIMENT WITH SOME MAKEUP TODAY. I'M GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT HIDING THINGS THESE DAYS. PEOPLE THINK I'M THIS UPBEAT, HAPPY GO LUCKY, DECENT PERSON. I'M THE ONE THAT EVERYONE GOES TO WHEN THEY HAVE A PROBLEM. I'M THE ROCK AT WORK. I'M THE CONSTANT. PEOPLE, I DON'T WANT TO BURST ANYONE'S BUBBLE, BUT (BUBBLE BUT LOL) I'VE BEEN HIDING THINGS. I'VE BEEN HIDING THE SLAPS AND THE PUSHES AND THE SHOVES AND THE BRUISES ON MY BACK AND SHOULDERS. I SHOULD TAKE OUT STOCK IN THE MAKEUP BUSINESS FOR ALL I USE IN COVERING UP THINGS. I PUT A WHOLE NEW MEANING IN "COVER GIRL". THEY SHOULD CALL IT "COVER UP KAREN". I LEAD A SECRET LIFE. WELL I DID TIL I JUST WROTE ABOUT IT. BUT I FIND ANYMORE THAT I JUST WANT TO PURGE THINGS. THAT BY PUTTING IT OUT THERE IT IS THE BEGINNING OF DEALING WITH THE ISSUE AND LETTING IT GO. EMOTIONS ARE THE SAME. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF FEELING THINGS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO FEEL THEN PURGE THEM. GET THEM OUT IN THE OPEN AND DEAL WITH IT. I DETEST THE SPOUSE. I HAD BEEN DEALING WITH THIS ENORMOUS HATE FOR THIS MAN. IT WAS DRAINING ME OF ALL EMOTIONS. I WASN'T ABLE TO FEEL ANY PLEASURE, NO JOY, NO TRUST. I STARTED BY SAYING IT OUT LOUD. DID IT CHANGE THINGS, WELL NO, BUT IT WAS A START. EACH DAY I DEALT WITH A LITTLE MORE AND NOW I THINK I'M OK. I KNOW I DESERVE BETTER. I KNOW I'M A GOOD PERSON WHO JUST GOT A ROTTEN DEAL IN LIFE. THERE IS A SITE CALLED ROTTEN.COM AND ON THIS SITE THERE IS SO MUCH DISGUSTING STUFF (MURDER PHOTOS, DEAD PEOPLE, ETC.). THEY SHOULD HAVE A SEPARATE CATAGORY FOR ROTTEN MARRIAGES AND ROTTEN PEOPLE. IT WOULD BE A HUGE CATAGORY. I COULD ADD THE SPOUSE'S NAME WHICH BY THE WAY IS DICK! NO KIDDING! HOW APPROPRIATE IS THAT? DOES GOD HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR OR NOT? I'M NOT DICKING AROUND HERE. (LOL, I'M SO FUNNY!) WELL I'LL WRITE MORE LATER IN THE DAY AS MY DAY CHANGES. I'LL SEE WHAT MY FRIEND IS UP TO AND READ AND LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND PLAY GAMES OR SOMETHING. TALK TO YOU LATER!
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Posted by lastblastkl on 2008-02-11 13:09:49 | Rating: | Views: 59
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hi lastblast!
that's a lot of stuff to get off you're chest in one go...i hope it feels just a little better. oh, and if you've been so unhappy for so long, i really hope you manage to get rid of the guy as soon as possible.
good luck.
:o)
cheers!!
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2008-02-11 13:24:32
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thank you very much. one vote for me and zero for nature's rectum.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-02-11 13:44:14
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and i need to say "for the record" i have tried to leave many times and something has always happened. some believe it's just a black/white issue. not happy? just leave! there is so much grey area in life and i'm not going to go into it here but believe me there is grey.
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-02-11 15:46:30
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