Thoughts.com Blogs - TAKING THE CHANCE FINALLY! SIGH OF RELIEF!

having my coffee and reading blogs has become my morning ritual. i enjoy it more than most of the crap i read in the newspaper and i like the people better for sure. i zoom in on my favorites first to see whats going on in their lives and then smile with them or seethe with them or want to kick some ass with them. it is a woman thing to want to protect and defend our species. now men on the other hand i'm not sure of. do you want to protect and defend your species? do you get as irate as we women when you see that someone has done something shitty to one of your kind? or do you get as pissed as we do when you see that one of your kind has done something miserable and fucked up to one of us? the saying "why can't we all just get along?" is a joke and always has been but never so much as now. i'm not sure it will ever happen because we all want to be right and we all want the other to be wrong ( yes, even when we know the difference). will there always be a "BATTLE OF THE SEXES"? "MEN VS WOMEN?" most likely will i suspect! it started with adam and eve and continues through time. but what would happen if we all did get along? if we all just gave in and just relaxed a little and stopped trying to be right all the time and stopped trying to prove a point and just enjoyed each other and accepted all the flaws and all the inconsistencies in each other and just let it happen? oh god, what a world we could all live in! there would be a lot of smiles and secrets behind closed doors. i think i've come to that point in my life. i don't care if i win an arguement any more. i don't care if i'm even right anymore. i just want to enjoy the company of a person who is enjoying me. i want honesty and respect. i want kindnes with a word or a touch. i want the feeling that i'm safe in my relationship and free from evil. i want to be able to fix dinner and act surprised when someone comes up from behind and puts their arms around me (and dinner either burns or waits). i want the whole enchilada. and i've made up my mind i won't settle this time or ever again. i won't take the pittance that is offered me or the shit that is sometimes given. i will take the leftover from a lousy day (when thats all thats left of them). i will take the silence (when they just need their space). i will take that little corner of their heart because i know tomorrow i'll get the whole thing and i'll get all of the day and i won't get the silence. it's give and take all the time and is very rare when it is actually 50/50. i can barely ever think when it was. it's a constant struggle, a constant weeding of bad shit, it's a constant attempt to try and understand this complex person that we call out mate, our better half, our soul mate, our lover. but i'm willing to do the work. i'm willing to go the extra yard sometimes and let them not. i'm willing to love more one day so that i'll get more later. i'm willing to be the leader when he cannot, because i want to be loved by this person. ERICH FROMM said: "an immature love says i love you because i need you. a mature love says i need you because i love you". i want that and will do what i can to make it happen. maybe last week, this week or the next. hell, maybe next month. who knows when it can happen or with who? i think it's in my grasp. i think i see it on the horizon. i feel like taking a chance. peace and harmony