yesterday was a day i never want to live again. bad kharma? i supose. today was the total opposite, an absolutely great day. good kharma? i don't know. somedays i feel like i actually have a curse over me. that someone is deliberately playing with my life. it seems weird that within two days things can go from 0 to 100 just like that. yesterday a terrible day at work. my boss from hell omg i think she is satan's spawn. i'll just bet under that nasty do on her head she has horns. if nasty were a profession she could own it. shes the type that is miserable in her own life and wants any and all to join her. i love my job and love my coworkers and the people i serve. i do excellent work and follow the rules. so it's hard for me to comprehend why someone would be so hateful and negative. if she hates it so bad then find something else don't be there and make everyone else miserable. the day went from bad to worse it seems. after a full 8 hours of that i had to wait and wait and wait at a red light where they were doing repairs. i sat there 20 min. and finally got to go through. i stopped at my doctor's office and what i was suposed to pick up wasn't there nor did anyone know where it was. left there and came home to find my door locked and a note that the fed ex man had been there with a package i had been waiting for and missed me. woe is me i was thinking, when is this going to end? after finally having to go around the house to the back i got in only to find that a box of clothing i was saving had mysteriously become awol. i asked the spouse and he informed me that he tossed it out. my clothing? women's stuff? just threw it out! i decided he needs to pair up with my boss. mr and mrs asshole. perfect coupling i think! i went up to my room and sat on the edge of my bed and the entire day just dissolved me to tears and i sat there crying like some demented female. bad kharma? curse? i had just given up. i felt so beaten and crumpled and lost i couldn't stop for a very long while. i don't cry often but when the tears come they come in tidal waves. after a nice shower and some music and a little dinner i felt a little better but not a lot. i talked to a friend and that even got a little testy for a while. i was afraid to move, to think, to speak, to breathe for fear of pissing someone else off or screwing up again or worse yet having to go through it again today. now today was the opposite. i had a great day at work. when my boss said something nasty to me i just answered back in the same tone and was told "don't speak to me like that". ok i thought here goes. "i speak to others the way i'm spoken to by them" and went about my work. i didn't know it but i had an audience and they said her mouth dropped when i said it because i don't take up for myself EVER. not one word was said back to me and she left. HURRAY FOR ME! i lost 3 pounds in our diet club! HURRAY FOR ME AGAIN! the rest of the day went very well and when i got home my package was at my front door YEA! and the spouse wasn't home. DOUBLE HURRAY! good kharma? you tell me. is there such a thing? do we each actually bring on our own misery? are we each responsible for the good and bad things that happen in our lives? can we change things that seem out of our control? if anyone knows the answer i sure would like to know. i'd like to control my own destiny and fate. i'd like to know the kharma gods aren't pissed at me before i leave the house in the mornings. i'd like the know the kharma prayer, the kharma handshake, the kharma code of ethics and the great kharma secret of the ages. oh kharma master can you please email me or phone me the next time you want to screw with me and at least give me a "HEADS UP"?