Here I am, sitting with two very large dogs next to me.  Yes, Jack & Ginger have come "home".  Recap:  Jack is a Choc. Lab and Ginger is a big ol' Bloodhound.  Ginger is a huge baby, that's already apparent.  She likes to hide behind me when Aaron tries to call her.  And Jack is...well...Jack.  Kind of stupid really.  Not a bad dog, just not a very smart dog.  I am not 100% sure he will work out here.  Time will tell.

I was told that the last position I interviewed for will be "awarded" to the right candidate today.  I really hope that candidate is me.  I am, believe it or not, really tired of not working.  I feel like a bum.  Blah.

Last night I dreamt about Mike.  Really weird.  I dreamt he was here and wanting me to come back (again).  I kept saying I couldn't and showing him my ring.  Just strange that after all these months I would dream that.  In the same breath, I suppose it does make sense as I've been worrying a lot lately.

Worrying as in how normal is it to question the "right-ness" of a relationship when you are faced with a wedding?  Why doesn't anyone talk about it?  I need to talk about it.  I love Aaron and have for years...but is that enough?  What if I suck at being a wife?  What if I make a horrible mother?  Would it save him trouble down the road if the wedding didn't happen?  These are all thoughts that sneak up on me just when I start to relax a bit.  How normal is that?  To those of you who are married, please tell me-where you scared?  And what were your specific fears?  And to those who are engaged-what about you?  I guess I am looking for the validation that I am not as alone as I feel in my cloud of self-doubt.