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So Aaron and I were driving along and somehow got on the topic of me not wanting to hear something, so I said I was going to pop my eardrums with a pen just so I didn't have to listen to him. He said he would just learn sign language. I said "fine, I'll just scoop out my eyeballs with a melon baller". He proceeded to tell me how morbid I am and that the stuff I come up with is so ridiculous that if someone heard me and didn't know me they would have me committed. Such as:
1. Slitting my wrists with a credit card
2. The melon baller
3. Drowning myself in the toilet (compliments of Mandie)
4. Strangling my very loud office mate with her phone cord
5. Popping my eardrums with a pen
6. Hanging myself from our very flimsy ceiling fan
7. Suffocating Sam Walton with his own plastic bag
8. Drinking a bottle of Listerine to "take the edge off"
9. Stabbing someone with a spork
10. Driving my car off a cliff even though I'd have to drive a good six hours just to get to a cliff
11. Giving myself a lobotomy with a letter opener
12. Laying down under his car when he's not looking so that he will run me over no matter which way he goes
13. Getting Botox on the cheap via bee stings
14. Setting someone on fire by shooting them with a flaregun
Yes I am the Queen of All Things Morbid. |
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Posted by ladiegodiva on 2008-03-17 20:21:34 | Rating: | Views: 60
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funny thanks for the blogg, try some easy cheese squeezed in your ear?hehehe peace
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Posted by bjm1
on 2008-03-17 22:45:57
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If you shoot someone with a flare gun, make sure you shoot them at real close range, otherwise, it'll just bounce off them.
(Don't ask how I know:)
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Posted by Frankly
on 2008-03-17 22:54:38
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good to know...go to know.
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2008-03-18 22:02:45
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I LOVE IT! My boyfriend thinks I'm sick too. He thinks it's weird that I like the colors of bruises and how I like the way needles feel in my vein when I give blood. NO I've never shot up anything.
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Posted by LadiLucifer
on 2008-03-19 14:32:02
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