There are things in this world that annoy the hell out of me, make me laugh so hard I can hardly stand up, make me want to cry....and then there are those things that just plain scare the shit out of me. And by this, I don't mean in a logical-you should be afraid-way, I mean I have seriously irrational and very deep seated fears of some off the wall stuff. Such as...
Left overs. Scary right? I'm talking open the 'fridge and there they are, leftovers!!!! What's in there? Has it gone bad? Could it give me food poisoning and make me start puking (yet another fear)? *shudder*
Spam. What the shit is that? Is it actually ham? Or was it at some point? What is that thick, waxy grease that is covering it? Do you cook it before you feed it to the dog? Canned cat food looks and smells more appetizing.
People who look like they've already been embalmed. Carrot Top. Patrick Swayze. Countless Soap Opera stars. They look like something from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Except that they (supposedly) still have a heart beat. When you lose the ability to make any facial expression whatsoever, I'd say you've gone a bit too far.
This is a REALLY bad one. I know it, but I can't help it. Ready? Solemn, quiet, red-haired children that just stand there and stare at you. I don't know why! But really, it's like they are out to steal my soul, because as we all know-they don't have their own.
Tighty whities on men. Tight, white, regular underwear on grown men. It just has an air of pedophelia to it. And if you've ever seen that movie, "The Slums of Beverly Hills" where the kid is standing there in his tighty whities....eeek.
Church/religion. If a god is so loving, why does he threaten you with complete damnation and endless torture everytime you make a mistake? You didn't take out the trash=eternity standing in a lake of fire.
That's a whole lot of scary crap right there. The typing of this blog will surely haunt my dreams tonight. I will have red headed children wearing tighty-whities, eating left over spam while attending Mass with Carrot Top and Patrick Swayze. They'll just be eating, praying and staring at me. And trying to get me to eat the leftover spam. &^@#$^&&*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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