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I want to talk even though I really don't have anything intelligent to say. I just took a couple of muscle relaxers for my migraine and they are starting to kick in, I'm out of painkillers until the 1st. Yipee. Was talking to my office bff about a very annoying co-worker of ours who insists on giving us a verbal replay of absolutely everything she and her mother do. Well, my co-worker says to me "here, take this pen and shove it way down in my ear so that my ear drum will burst and I won't have to hear X anymore". I say "no, I'll need two pens, one for each ear".
Morbid aren't we? Mandie (that's her name) and I spend our entire days here talking about different ways we can harm/do off with ourselves/others. Here are some of the creative things we have come up with:
1. We simutaneously shove our faces through our respective computer monitors so that we can share an ambulance.
2. We stand at the top of the stairs and she pushes me, then I quick grab onto her wrist so we go down together, then we can be off work together.
3. I asked her to "just shoot me", but upon further discussion we decided it would be best if we just shot each other at the same time.
4. There is a huge walk in safe that we aspire to someday slam our fingers in so we won't have to type for a long while, but of course now that's I've met all of you...we'll have to scratch that.
5. We go to the roof of the building and jump, nevermind that it's only a two story building, it's a guaranteed injury and afternoon off of work-more if you count the looney bin for suicidal tendancies.
6. As for others our plans go something like this: we stab them in the neck with our bics, I kick them while she runs there heads over, and then there is the ever present Amazon Woman who we want to shove down the stairs.
So, there is a peek at my darker side. Really now, and please be brutally honest here, does everyone have such horrible thoughts at some point? Or was I just born bad?
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Posted by ladiegodiva on 2007-10-30 09:02:30 | Rating: | Views: 121
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Not at all. I have the craziest thoughts of things I would like to do not necesarily to myself but to others that get on my nerves. For example that I really can't stand, I would like to throw them all into this human bonfire and watch them burn and laugh as it's being done. Maybe even make some Smores.
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Posted by missbittersweet
on 2007-10-30 09:06:14
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Thank you, finally I know I am not Satan.
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2007-10-30 09:07:48
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Yep, lots of these thoughts...when I worked there was this little 19 year old "girl" that I could not stand. I would fantasize about "bumping into her" on the loading dock as the delivery truck was pulling up!
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-10-30 09:10:53
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I love this one!!! made me laugh so much. You and your BFF are just like me and mine!
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Posted by Iced_Nympho
on 2007-10-30 10:30:12
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Oh my gosh you and Mandie sound a lot like my friend Sandy.
We often talk about running people down and then burying them in a parking lot, while we laugh gleefully as we run over their body bumps.
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Posted by Whitters
on 2007-10-30 11:17:29
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Good to hear that even in my darkest moments, I am not alone :)
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2007-10-30 12:01:09
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I think about my Lemmings that way when I supervisor them. I think, WOW if only that thought came true...Yes, truth be known, we are all morbid thinkin'...
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Posted by olp76
on 2007-10-31 07:41:43
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