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DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
v.
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners
here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
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Posted by ladiegodiva on 2008-05-23 12:52:20 | Rating: | Views: 87
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That is awesome! Genius in fact. That put a great big smile on my face. It's like you are an animal wisperer.
I've often wished my dogs could speak all they want to say for at least one day. I might be in for it if they could. I think they have it made but I would just really like to know what they think about things.
I'd love to hear what they would have to say about the kids.
"Um could you please get the girl to stop holding me down?" "Could you cage the boy for a change instead of me".
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-05-25 16:29:44
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Yes this was awesome. My first out loud laughs since the whole Job and Drug Test Debacle...that has been days. So thank you Ladie...Kisses
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Posted by BitterSweetNy
on 2008-05-27 19:34:35
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that was great!!
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-05-29 16:26:40
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