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I had to run to WalMart today on my lunch hour. I HATE WalMart. Too bad I can't afford to not shop there. As I stood in line waiting for the cashier to be done taking her sweet ass time talking shop with the old lady in the wheelchair it hit me-I hate old people. They're too damn slow. Do they not remember what it's like to have places to be? I don't have all day to lollygag my ass around behind you.
OK, so I don't really HATE old people, they just annoy me at times. Like everyone else if you haven't picked up on that. I actually did have a mini revelation in that line, though. You know in high school how you had the nerds/jocks/goths/etc? Well, WalMart has their very own assortment of cliques. Let me enlighten you...
The Serial Shopper: Wears tennis shoes and sweatpants, has a cart so full it's threatening to collapse over the sides and is always conveniently sideways in the aisle so that even Kate Moss wouldn't be able to squeeze her stick ass through.
The Housewife: Takes the kids to good old Wally World and lets them run and take things off the shelves and lay down in front of my cart enticing me to run their little snot-heads over.
The Wide Load: The morbidly obese "handicapped" who zooms around the store in an electric scooter. Comically beeps like a school bus when it backs up.
The Senior Whiner: The bastard/hag that stand in line at the pharmacy and bitch because they have to pay a whopping $2 for a prescription that Medicare ALMOST fully covered. Try not having ANY insurance Mr. Rogers. See how fun that is. So glad I work my ass off to pay for your fricking Viagra.
The Field Tripper: The kid who snuck out of the school for the day to practice shoplifting.
The Au Naturals: The usually large, dirty, BO-envelopes trailer trash that clogs the aisle with their overpowering stench of moth balls and gym socks.
Oh why, oh why do I hate WalMart so? Because Sam was/is a total jackass...he's the new AntiChrist and I'd love nothing more than to suffocate him with one of his plastic bags.
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Posted by ladiegodiva on 2008-03-12 23:06:13 | Rating: | Views: 84
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shop at Target. :)
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Posted by sean_barr
on 2008-03-12 23:08:15
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I would buy the flu if it were on sale @ walmart because I would think that since they had it, I needed it!!! lol
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Posted by Mamacita925
on 2008-03-13 10:01:11
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People at Wal mart are funny.... Hey but you got to love our fast food places and superstores that will hire mentally challenged people... I mean all the healthy people are on dissablity and government assistance.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-03-13 12:31:43
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I always use to tell people the thing I hated most about Wal-Mart was the customers. But now I couldn't tell you when I was there last. :)
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Posted by Frankly
on 2008-03-13 18:24:32
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OMG this was freaking hilarious!
As always, well done.
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Posted by Whitters
on 2008-03-19 12:56:51
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