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What would you do if your first love confessed after a year separation without even saying a word that they still think about you all the time and love you?
Basically... i broke down. After all we've been through, it was so hard, i finally got over him, im with someone new who treats me like i should be. my ex just explained everything... and i cried. I didn't know he felt that way.. i was expecting to hear.. "ya it was hard getting over you too but i did it and im glad your doing great." We just started talking again.. trying to be friends after a year of not talking.. not a word. but of course.. things like this can never work out the way you think they will..
He regrets everything. He wishes he would have moved with me when i went to university last year and moved away from my home town. He jumped into another relationship right away to try and get over us and she ended up getting pregnant and now they have a kid. They aren't together though. Shes a crazy crazy girl and shes filing for sole custody of a kid that she apparently didnt even want to have in the first place. and i feel horrible. Shes using this poor child as a pawn to get back at him for god knows what. Nothing has worked for him since we broke up. I should have been careful of what i wished for. I wanted all this to happen to him. I told myself over and over again that what goes around comes around... cause he broke my heart and treated me like shit. I have everything going my way now and someone who i am happy with. and then this happens.
He gave me a promise ring.. and after we broke up i just felt like "phht .. some promise eh". He just told me that he really gave that to me with every intention of following it through. And that i was genuinely the only person he can say that he ever truly loved. I dont get it. I know he couldn't handle me living 12 hours away. But if he loved me he wouldnt have pushed me away like he did. I dont know. I have mixed feelings about this. I feel bad for him. I can say with 100% certainty that i was the best damn thing that ever happened to him. I got his life on track. Things were going good for him before i left. But once i was gone.. things went south in a hurry.
I have a new guy now.. and i dont want to mess things up with him. But what am i supposed to say to my ex??? Hes got nothing left. Hes in camp for the next 2 months trying to raise money to get a lawyer to fight for split custody of their kid. I have gotten the revenge ive been wanting for all this time.. and now i wish that he was doing great. I dont think i can be friends with him. I dont think i can do this. Im falling in love with Dyllon (my boyfriend). I cant do this to him. The more i talk to my ex (Travis), the more i miss him sometimes. I just put so much effort into travis's and mines relationship... and for what? it all fell apart. Things happen for a reason but i just cant figure this one out right now.. our movie was the notebook.... is this seriously how things are going to go??? I really hope not. At this rate though.. things are right on par.
Travis thought i had some other newer, better life in a new town with new friends and that if he loved me he should set me free. To any guy who is reading this: Whoever said "if you love something set it free" is kind of an idiot. If you love someone, you should do everything in your power to treat them like gold and make them happy. I didn't want to be "set free" to be honest. But now that i look back, he changed into someone i really didnt like. If you love something, you should treat it right. Thats how the saying should go.
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Posted by lackofcolor on 2008-03-19 01:23:06 | Rating: | Views: 62
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