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I'd like to thank all those who have commented on my first few entries. I must say at first I was embarrassed and had an urge to remove all the entries and post something more profound and intellectual.. but that would defeat the point, right?  I'll resist creating a false impression of me here.
In response to making things right with my grandmother - I would agree that the ideal route for me would have been for me to talk to my mom about the issue, but alas this is something that I find hard to talk about with her also, if not more awkward. I should have perhaps mentioned in my last post that actually I'm not happy with the way I look. I think I blame my mother (mainly, and my immediate family) for feeling that way. How I feel is this: I should be happy with the way I look, because I don't look bad. So I'm angry that they have caused me to feel this way through comments, jokes, looks, for the most part of my life. At this point I'd love to reassure you that I will overcome these petty feelings and just get on and fix the problem by losing weight, but the truth would be that I haven't managed to do so for years and besides, is that really the solution I seek?
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Posted by kyoko on 2007-09-28 11:20:01 | Rating: | Views: 99
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wrds hurt and stay with you, thats why you feel so negative, also, not kind or helpful if the comments have come from your own family.
you sound very strong and yet fragile too..and no, its not things you can overcome with ease, it can takes months/yhears or sometimes never to remove certain thoughts/images from ones mind and brain.
hon, if you can not talk to your mum face to face, have you thought perhaps about writing it down in a letter and giving/sending it to her? just an idea if its not something you have done. hug.
if you know you do not need to lose weight, do not do it, if your dr advises you to try and lose some, then try, just adjust how you eat, avoid diets and just try and be more aware as in walking more and doing as much as you can to keep active as this will help with overall fitness/wellbeing.
if as i believe it to be, a problem with the constant jibes/hurt you have endured, then that is more of a case of trying to slowly build your confidense up with support from friends and those you feel you can trust and who are not unkind to you. its a start.
not sure if i am being of much help, but i wish you the best of luck sweetheart.
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-09-28 13:41:49
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In my opinion you should feel good with your self how you look act ect. :) this is the most important thing in life :) just be happy with yourself :)
good luck and take care <3
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Posted by Pie
on 2007-09-29 07:34:25
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kyoko
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