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well i first must start by saying wow! I have never had a blog or well this is more like an online diary for me. You see i keep a diary at home, but there is the fact that my family mostly my mom is extremely nosy and doesn't know how to respect my privacy so i find it hard to write everything i want to there, thats when i came up with this idea. Speaking of my mom, i don't know if it's just me growing up or the things she has done in the past but i have not one ounce of respect for her, the woman who brought me into this fucked up world. I guess in order for this to make any since i any going to have to explain to you a little about my mom. She is and will always be in my mind a failure and a drug addict. As of today she is "clean and sober" and is going through AA, i say today because of the countless times i have watched this show before. it always goes a little something like this "I'm sorry Kylee, i really WANT to change this time though, i'm never going to do drugs again, i don't want to anymore." then once things in life start to go back to normal there she fucking goes, she wanted to do it again, i guess. When she decides she wants to do it, she really wants to fuck up, not only does she want to get fucked up, she want to fuck my whole mother fucking life up...I must also mention that last time she wanted to "get fucked up" was about 10 months ago, when she left me at the house alone, and when and got so high that she stole money and went to jail. It took me a whole 4 months to even write her a letter while she was in there. When she got bailed out, again the money coming from my sisters pocket, she swore that "was the last time" so far it has been, but again it feels like i am watching what is about to be a train wreck, and i can't do anything about it. My mom has a bag full of excuses about why she ended up like this, it's never ever been her fault...it's always something else. Another thing about her is that she will sit there and lie out of her ass when she knows i'm not dumb. She knows i know the truth but will sit there and lie. I think she has started to lie more to herself, she must not be able to look in the mirror, atleast i hope she can't...
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Posted by kylee_0320 on 2008-06-18 23:47:35 | Rating: | Views: 50
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I feel so sorry for you, you and your sister have had to parent yourself and your mom. How horrible for all of you.
You sound strong, find someone you can look up to and trust, maybe a mentor of sorts, you need some positive adults in your life and someone to love you the way you should be loved. Your mom is sick, and she probably sincerly means it each and every time she says she is sorry. That being said, look around, see who might help you! Keep me posted
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Posted by roe
on 2008-06-19 00:45:18
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