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just let the memories flow

it's freezing. i can see my breath, and his. he says something, but i don't hear, just looking at his beautiful lips. we are walking so close, our hands are so close. i think about holding it, but would never be that bold. i say something and he laughs. i love making him laugh. we reach the lake, it's about midnight, full moon, stars scattered everywhere and no artificial light so they are stunning. the 'lake' is actually a pond about 100 feet in diameter at its largest, but is beautifully covered in mist and fog. a couple of geese swim across it, making gorgeous ripples. we nestle ourselves in the roots of a large tree overlooking th lake. we talk, we laugh. i miss him even when he's two feet away.

months later, in my car i find myself letting go, telling him everyhting, crying. but he takes my hand and holds it, for the first time. i couldn't think of anything else for the longest time. i found myself laughing in the midst of my pain.

in my car again, he tells me he might move away. instant tears stung my eyes, fear struck my heart. i reached for his hand. he could see my tears and pulls me close. i remember his smell. we sat like that for a long time, before he finally placed his lips on mine. the kiss of kisses. we must've kissed for hours. we would pull apart and smile, and go back in for some more. that night i was high on love.

next day, back at the park. it's raining, we are dancing on a picnic table, full of smiles and i love you's. i will never be as happy as i was on that picnic table. never.

now, two years later i live with him. and i still can't believe we are in love. we are used to each others presence and therefore sometimes forget to appreciate it, but sometimes when he says a certain thing or holds me a certain way, i feel as giddy as i did then, and now that i am fortunate to have this love. even if it doesn't work out in the fututre, i was damn lucky to have it.