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| i want to elope, he wants a wedding... compromise? |
jake and i have been best friends for five years, dating for two. i love him more than anything in this entire world. i've never felt this way about anyone, i know that sounds cliche', but it's true. he's the only person i want to spend my free time with, he's the first person i want to talk to when i've had an awesome day, or when my day has been nothing but horrible. i love the nights he stays at my home and wakes me up, playing with my hair and smiling at me with those big hazel eyes. he's one of those guys who leaves me a single rose and a love letter on my windshied to find when i'm done with work, just because he was thinking about me. he helps me around the house, and feels horrible when i say i can do it myself, for him to keep watching his game. he's constantly giving me backrubs, foot massages, playing with my hair, taking care of me 24/7.
we have been together, like i said, for two years, but best friends for 5. we have yet to get into a fight. sure we've had disagreements, when we don't see quite eye to eye, but we've never fought, never raised our voice at the other, never stormed out of a room without fixing the problem. that's just the way we are. we make an effort never to go to sleep mad or irritated at the other, and we don't plan ever to. sure it could happen, but right now, things are absolutely amazing, and i would never want to go a day without him.
i would do anything for him ... but there has been one thing we can't seem to agree on yet.
the wedding.
we both KNOW we want to be married, we both can't WAIT to be married .... but i don't want an actual wedding, and he does.
usually we talk about why we have different views on certain things, and one of us will come around and agree with the other person's opinion. but we've talked about this three or four times, and we still can't come to an agreement.
here's both sides of the story, read it through and let me know what you think...
Jake's side - Wedding- jake obviously wants the wedding. he says that he wants his breath taken away when he sees me walking down the isle. he wants our first kiss as mr. and mrs. up on the altar, he wants our coming together to be in front of all our family and friends. he says he can't wait to see me as his bride, because he's so convinced how beautiful i will look (( i beg to differ, but ya never know, lol)). he also wants his mother-son dance, he wants to take his first official dance as husband and wife ... he wants all of it. to show everyone how much he loves and cares for me.... and i cant blame him for that ... what girl wouldn't?!
here's my side
Britt-Elope- i personally want every single thing i listed that jake wants. i want all of that ... the curch, the dress, the walk down the isle with my dad, the vows, the kiss, reception, dance, all of it. i want it too. but i already KNOW i won't be able to enjoy it ... and here's why ....
my parents are divorced. no big deal right? lots of people's parents are divorced. but they literaly LOATHE one another ... it's so far past hate, there isn't a word to describe it. they can't be anywhere near one another without being absolutely horrible. they bring up things in the past and it's a screaming fit no matter where we are. even if they are on opposite sides of a huge room, hell, lets make it opposite sides of the superdome, i can literally feel the tension rapidly get thicker and thicker until it's hard to breathe. my dad is remarried, so there is a stepmother. so then you have the exwife and the stepmother and all of their family together as well as the exhusbands family .... keep in mind every family member hates the others just as much as my parents. i have talked to each parent ... said it's not about them... it's not their day .... if anything, set it all aside for just one day please ... just for me .... their little girl ... put aside your selfish want to start a fight and let it go for just ONE DAY. they all say .... "i'll be good if they are". whatever. they have all promised to keep their cool and let it go... but i KNOW, because i have experienced it before at awards banquets and anything else, that even if they were to be on their absolute best behavior, it still will be horrible for me personally. because i am going to be worried that i'm talking to one family more than the other family, i won't want to get anyone mad at me or think i love someone else more, the tension will be thicker than ever. and personally i don't want to have to deal with that on my wedding day. it's supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life ... and personally i don't want to spend it walking on eggshells.....
jake has heard my side of the story ... and he understands, he really does. but yet, there's nothing he wants more than to marry me in front of all our friends and family ....
so here's my dilemma ..... do i keep trying to convince him to elope so it's a romantic getaway with just us, then come back and maybe have some kind of small party, indvidual of course, with all of our families?? or take a chance and marry the man of my dreams the way we both would want to and do the best to ignore the fighting in the background??
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Posted by ksubam06 on 2008-10-14 13:03:48 | Rating: | Views: 103
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