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another day, mostly likely another pound gained, again
i feel so sick atm, i feel like i need to wee but i cant, bleh. My boyfriend is messing me about, its not really his fault but it gets int he way, like he had a free period for last lesson so he went home even though he was supposed to meet me after school and he didnt tell me he went so i went runnign around school wondering where he is and then after 20mins i decided to start walking back and ringing him and not getting a answer, only half an hour later him asking where i am, so i think he's behind me or something and it turns out that hes at home, we were supposed to go into town together too but decided not to wait for me. boyfriends can be soo ununderstanding sometimes, i mean ive waited litterally hours for him before and he can spare about 30mins to see me?
someitmes i wonder if he cares, or if im just there when he wants me there.
I never see him at lunch or break at school now cause hes in 6th form with his "new" friends and he ocunts walking to school him, where i dont speak much anyway cause we're always in a rush and he's joking with him mates, as spending time with him. well headflash! it aint!
i love him i really do, and we've been through some pretty tough shit together, but i wonder sometimes if he loves me, he says he does but its always a let down, everyday, and its getting to me. when we first started going out, he'd ask if i wanted to go out and phoning and texting me, but know its only me who asks the questions and 9 out of 10 of the time its, sorry hun i cant make it.
he has a little sister who's in rehab cause hes anorexic and shes gone down to london so he see's her now and then, more regulary recently though, but he neevr tells me until last minute or arranges to meet me, not turn up then i ring him only to hear hes in the car on the way there, i just wish he'd tell me of plans.
he's gotten so thin lately though, i worry terribly for him. I wish he isnt dieting too, i mean i could stand the thiness at first but he's getting even thinner and skipping meals and when we make love i see bones jutting out and im worried im not finding myself attracted to him anymore. it kills me inside to actually type that down.
well maybe if i lose weight then i will be thinner and not notice it as much cause i wotn be bigger than him any more.
i need to fast.
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Posted by krystal_child on 2007-09-07 14:47:59 | Rating: | Views: 99
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seriously, it's like you're me. way similar. i know exactly what you are going through, that day will come too
:]
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Posted by poppyxstars
on 2007-09-29 05:05:39
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