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| Love - something I can't figure out
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LOVE
Ok, I have to be honest. Who the hell knows what love is anyway? I'm pretty sure that it comes in all forms and varies from person to person.
I have had so many problems with men. Well, maybe not so much as men as boys. That sounds more accurate - or at least accurate to the point of making me feel better about my poor decisions. I have literally been fucked over so many times in the past year it's hard to keep count. It might be because I have a hard time committing emotionally - but I just feel that no one will understand me. The people that know me the best know that I'm actually a deep thinker...difficult to believe but it's true.
So here it goes.
I have a habit of taking quotes on love and applying them to my life - even in the smallest detail - anything to connect me with the person who said it. Partly because I'm reaching out for someone who feels even remotely as shitty as I do.
"There's more to life than love, but I think love is what gets us through the day." - Drew Barrymore
"A wise woman kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." - Marilyn Monroe :) (LOVE HER)
I just feel that there are way too many interpretations of love. And what's more important? Physical Chemistry or Emotional Security? I haven't found either - although I always think that with the men, excuse me, BOYS that I choose, I can find it in them eventually. It never works out that way. And I always end up changing for them and molding into the girlfriend that would fit well in their lifestyle. It never works. Know why? Because I absolutely cannot help being myself. And every girl wants to be the one who makes a difference in their life and changes them for the better. The problem is - with so much competition, how can a girl possibly keep up. We all want THE look, THE hair, THE personality, THE style, and THE one. But we can't all have that can we? I don't want to be Barbie. But I do want a love like Corey and Tapanga and romance like The Notebook. I believe in those things. I probably shouldn't, but if I didn't then I would have absolutely nothing to look forward to. It's stupid, but the vision of eventually finding love keeps me going from day to day. And even if I never find it - I'll always know one thing: I've never been opposed to it. And love and faith will hopefully make be a better person every day. Because not only do I believe in love, but I have faith in people.
Maybe. Just maybe. One day someone will show me that my spent time and energy was not wasted. A girl can dream, right?
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Posted by kristone on 2007-09-07 10:40:26 | Rating: | Views: 137
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You're not the only one who believes and wants real love. I can't tell you how many times I watched the Notebook praying that someday, I will find a love like that. Just remember, what you give out, you will eventually get back. Someone once told me that love given is not wasted, and that's so true! So all the loves and energies you gave to those "boys" will come back to you in the right package- A man who will love you for just who you are. Good luck and best wishes!
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Posted by independant_woman
on 2007-09-21 19:41:39
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