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Are You Skin-Savvy?

Have you ever noticed that when you're attracted to someone, the lightest touch can be electric? You get crackles of warmth that affect your entire body, a breath next to an ear or the neck can jello legs, muddle speech and make the butterflies in your stomach riot. A far cry from the well-established smooch before going to work, or the sweaty hand-holding of pre-teens. Why is this?

There are two things involved that people rarely consider when they feel a strong attraction: the brain and the skin. Your biggest organ and your biggest erogenous zone team-up, leaving you googly eyed and gasping for more. Pretty please.

Our brains are programmed, and slavishly devoted to, one sense over the others: the sense of touch. Reading, reacting, gauging and electrifying nervous response. It's already been proven that infants without any affection (neglect or even basic care) can be not just emotionally stunted but physically stunted as well. The brain does the same with romance- it's responsible for your heart and breath speeding up, goosebumps- the whole emotional enchilada.

Unfortunately, the skin gets ignored, many times, over the oft-accessed genital bits. For such a small square area of skin, they do get a lot of attention. It reminds me of the joke about turn on, turn off the radio, tickle, tickle go! The reason that couples fall into the routine foreplay trap is because they're forgetting the other 90% of their bodies' erotic possibilities.

Any part of your skin can become an erogenous zone. Typically, the most sensitive areas are those with little or no hair, or the areas the sun doesn't reach. The skin's thinnest in those places, which leads to higher sensitivity. Touch the skin behind your ears, or in-between your fingers, or behind your knee-cap. Palms, ankles, the base of the back...the list can (but won't) go on.

If you've slipped into The Routine, you might want to try something different. Organize a time when you and your love can have 2 hours, just for you. Explore and find the places which most please the other person. Or do full-body massages, or total-body lovemaking. Once you find the happy spots, don't acquire instant-amnesia the next time you're together. Sensuality is based on sense, and the sense it's most based on is touch. Why limit affection when you can expand and increase each others' happiness?

Two last tips: when you're giving a massage or a backscratch, alter the directions of your fingers from a straight line to zig-zags. Your brain (and skin) anticipate the straight lines. The zig-zags spark more response because of the surprise. It's nearly double the fun.

And if you're doing full-body massages, separate the times. One day for your partner, one day for you. It's nothing short of a wet carp-slap to your face when you're completely relaxed, purring, and you hear the words "Ok. Me next!"

But you already knew that. Grin. K.