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I used to have a lot of friends.. now I have like 2 friends.
In vain sometimes, I try to catch up with people, try to rekindle the friendship we once had. But it's useless. Their life went in one direction, and my life went in another.
To me it seems, most people's lives went in the direction of an active university life, full of stage productions and Prosh days and group assignments. They date arseholes who study engineering or law, and work part time at the Telstra shop... or somewhere equally phony..They talk about holidays to Sydney or better yet, Europe, in the mid semester break, and they go clubbing and drink vodka and orange all night. I used to sort of have a life like that too. For a while. It wasn't really for me though. For one thing, I was worse than them, when it came to the clubbing life. I was never satisfied with a couple of vodka and oranges, and some "pre-drinks". I was more like a 6 shots of tequilla girl. That stage was followed by my half a tab of E stage, followed closely by my desire to smoke rock with strangers I met at nightclubs... see, I was never as sensible as THEM...
that's why my life went this way. I parties pretty hard, when I partied... and I did a lot of stupid things. I never picked up engineers or lawyers either. Well, sometimes, but they were always the bad ones. The cheating ones, or the only engineer in Perth with a harrowing addiction to meth.
That's why God sent me Joe. and my baby.
Joe was the best thing to happen to me. We partied together, that's more than a little true. But we somehow levelled eachother out, and we kept eachother from danger. I guess in the back of my mind, I always knew there was someone who needed me home at the end of the night... and it felt good to be needed too.
It's just now I am short a million friends, partly due to my old friends saying Joe wasn't good enough bla bla... and partly due to me not caring what other people thought, for the first time in my life. You could have told me Joe was a murderer and I still would have loved him. Also, I dropped out of the scene. I couldn't be bothered with clubs anymore, and once I got knocked up, that was well and truly over. The thing is, as people get old, friends don't matter so much anymore. My Dad always told me that. Family is what matter, most friends fuck off. and it's true. But that's not a lesson I was ready to learn yet. I should've had a few more years of bliss, right? Typing into the "About me" box "my friends are my world, I couldn't live without them." Well, of course, now I know that's ridiculous. Friends don't mean shit really, except a few close friends. The type who put up with your bullshit, love you unconditionally, don't stamp their foot when you bring around another pathetic boyfriend. and you've got to do the same really. When you're old, all that really matters is family. and the friends who were SO important that they became you're family anyway.. and that's not gonna be every god damn girl from high school or uni.
Real friends don't cross you off their list, just because you slip under the radar for a while. or you go through a string of bad relationships, or you drop out of uni. They are still there, months and years later.
sometimes I think about those girls, who dismissed me so easily, like I was nothing. I think about how smug they would be, if my life turned to crap. I think about how they shake their heads at the news of my pregnancy. and I have to stop myself from feeling pleased, when one of their boyfriends cheats, or they fuck up somehow..
But I know they won't end up happier than me, and one day they will be where I am. Saving money for baby, and reading pregnancy articles, and working really hard on a relationship, because they have to.
some of them will get divorced, and some of them will never be able to have their own baby. Some of them may never find a person to love them. I'd like to think they will remember me then, and how they told me I was shit, because I made a few mistakes, or because I picked the wrong guy. But they probably won't. Nobody remembers the people they hurt really, they just remember the people who hurt them.
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Posted by knocked_up on 2007-10-13 20:58:05 | Rating: | Views: 91
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Excellent post. True friends are hard to come by and I only have two true friends. The ones ,who stand by me when I get into a bad patch and will love me for who I am. They become family anyway.
Those other girls may think they are better than you, but they're not. They will make mistakes too. And they won't end happier just because they think they will.
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Posted by HornyLittlePoker
on 2007-10-13 21:23:48
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